My own experience of Mind Control and surveillance

The following story is a representative sample of my experiences during the 1990's.
I have deliberately avoided reference to events, which might be used to create scapegoats, and therefore would make the authorities look better than they deserve. This is not because I feel any hatred towards anybody, but because they systematically use deniability to such a high degree, that there is reason to beleive that all the different parties involved were knowingly or unknowingly organized by the same main actors.

In 1985 I left the academic world, where I had dwelled for some years, gaining experience in applied physics, especially laser techniques. However, most of my energy was devoted to free reading on various scientific topics. Among other things, I wanted to know where the strong and the weak spots of the Queen of Science (=Physics) were located. I decided I couldn't combine this need for freedom with the, quite reasonable, expectations of Academia. I had to decide. Either I stop browsing around in the literature, or I quit my career. And I chose to quit. Thereafter, I spent 2 years of rather intensive autodidactic studies in the local scientific libraries and often went for nightly walks, when, I noted the first signs of being under surveillance, presumably by the local police. I shrugged it off, although, it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I was thinking that the police are just trying to do an honest job and that I couldn't expect to be beyond suspicion.

The city underwent some visible changes during this period. New research facilities popped up. The authorities hoped to establish some kind of high-tech growth region there, aided by the presence of academic researchers in the vicinity. Indirectly this may have had some influence on the crime rate in the region. I don't know that, but I do know that there was a notable increase in the number of patrolling security guards.

From 1980 to 1992, I lived a rather problem-free life. I never noticed anything strange. No harassment of any kind. I knew what it was like to take a walk through the city and I did that monotonously most days of the year. For the exercise of my body and of my mind. My intake of food and the number of sleeping hours was adequate for a person who wants to digest a lot of literature every day and I never used drugs of any kind.

I am telling you this background information, because I hope it will make it easier for you to beleive me, when I say, that I wouldn't easily begin imagining that I was suddenly under 24 hour surveillance. Appart from the intensive surveillance, which began at the break of July 1992, I also, to my great shock, realized that I had been implanted with a foreign object inside my head, which was used to torture me in my home and everywhere I went.

The reason I knew that I had a foreign object inside my head, was because, those who controlled the device, couldn't resist the temptation of using it (and hence me) like a toy, actually affecting my body's performance in a way totally unimaginable by any other means than electronic ones. In that, particularly revealing moment, which took place in the third of july 1992, they created a clean and strong biofeedback effect. It was a perfect illustration of the concept of biofeedback for a physicist like me. There was no dizzyness or anything, just a totally changed bodily dynamics. I knew well that this sort of technical explanation would not in general convince people, if they didn't already know about this sort of brain implants. This revelation explained how they had been able to torture me for several days, and it was, because they (presumably?) broke their regulations and began to use it playfully that it was so clearly revealed. I think I had subconsciously understood it already a couple of days earlier, but this very shocking insight had been easy to suppress. I remember actually feeling ashamed. I was completely taken aback by the strong physical effects that can be exerted by way of weak electric signals applied to the brain, although I had known that this was in principle possible.

My next thought was: they can probably paralyze my body within seconds if they want to. The fact that they were playing with the device didn't necessarily mean that they wouldn't be ready to kill me, if I began talking about it.

Earlier they had been using the device to raise my heartrate to very high levels, I think I counted to 140 per minute on one occasion. I knew that poison or drugs might have similar effects and I also had the impression that the symptoms they gave me were aimed at making me beleive that I was suffering from abstinense and that they were hoping that this would make me prone to take risks and maybe reveal myself more easily. As you see from the text below, they seemed convinced that I was a drug dealer and a drug addict.

I decided it would be wiser not to talk to anyone about it and moreover, I decided I would pretend I didn't understand what had been done to me. Two days later, the police and people, who I assumed belonged to some other organisation than the local police took part in the surveillance. I thought these other people belonged to Rikskriminalen or Säpo. Or maybe even some other branch of the state apparatus. Those details are not important to me, I am saying it because I got the impression, that they wanted to signal to me that they were taking this seriously, and that I would make no mistake, as to their readiness to be able to counter any criminal action from my side. (Previously most police officers, who took part in the surveillance, had been ununiformed, and more often than not they also had a rather friendly appearance, seemingly realizing - I am guessing now long after the event - that this was all some kind of farsical escapade that their superiors had ordered them to take part in. For instance they would walk around carrying large strongly colored objects, creating a surrealistic impression maybe resembling the perceptions of a person using drugs.) It became increasingly clear that the police considered me prone to shoot at them. They clearly didn't wan't thing's to develop that way, but wanted to show me, that if needed, they would be prepared. Somewhere, not very far away, somebody was shooting a couple of rounds with a revolver. It appeared to me that this was done to emphasize their readiness. I thought they were practising against some absorbing material.

A little later, when I was taking my seat at the park, apart from all the usual people, who were pretending to be potential drug customers, drug dealers or drug couriers, there were also a number of police officers, three of them wearing gun holsters and spare magazines outside their clothes despite being ununiformed. The 'actors' were using different disguises and sometimes turning up in more than one disguise in a short period of time. No genuine drug dealer could possibly have swallowed the bait, since they were far to eager. They showed samples of drugs under the cushions of their baby carriages, and they counted their hasch cakes. Some people had little plastic bags with some white powder. It could have been detergent or maybe flour. Some of the actors played well, they really looked like they had severe abstinense. But there was so much of it that it was absurd. Like years of normal activity compressed to a period of a few days. None of the police officers showed any drug samples. If I hadn't been tortured and if they hadn't deprived me of my night sleep, I probably would have insisted on talking to the police and tell them about it as soon as possible. I am sure that most of the police officers had nothing to do with the electronic part of the mind-control operations. But I was so tired and under such pressure, that I didn't see things that way at the beginning. The police really was the last place I would turn for help. Who can blame me? When I finally called the police, I was not well treated, and further, my telephone was probably redirected and when I tried to call people I knew, I ended up talking to some strange type. They also fiddled with my radio reception, so that there were no talk channels, only a few music channels playing very annoying kinds of music, a kind of psychological warfare there too.

Behind the trees there were also a couple of older guys who guarded over a couple of wheel chairs, completely covered underneath so it wasn't possible to see what was hidden in it. And I assumed they had some firearms hidden there. I openly took photographs of them and of several other ununiformed police officers who kept me under intensive surveillance. These two older guys couldn't hold their faces when I took the photos, but as things developed, I realized that their smiles weren't indicating that they were taking this lightly. This was not at all an amusing situation for me either. Those who controlled my brain implant were using it to torture me in my head, and when you think about all the preparations made by the local police, it seems almost as if the mind controllers wanted to increase the probability of a violent outcome. I mean if you think a guy is already prone to shoot at the police, wouldn't it seem most unwise to drive such a person from his senses by torturing him in his head?

I may be mistaken about the intentions of the mind controllers and from some points of view the whole operation looks like a cruel exercise in experimental psychology and behavioural science. There were many examples of psychological warfare techniques, all deniable of course. For example, you would enter some public place and, just as if by chance, there would be an ununiformed local police officer watching a video, where old-style prison-doors were slammed repeatedly and where the guard would be rattling the keys expressively. On one occasion, two police officers were pretending to beat up a guy, but the way it was done indicated that they did it for the audience, i. e. me.

People from the public also took part in this kind of deniable psychological warfare, for example a lady, with the looks of an honorable citizen, would be driving a carriage with a little HIV- infected kid in it, with a notice indicating that the HIV was caused by a blood transfusion. I interpreted this as a form of deniable harassment. First they make everybody beleive that an innocent person is a drug dealer despite the fact that he has never even touched the stuff and then they have everybody try to make him commit drug-related crime, finally they try to make the guy feel guilty for the infected blood coming from drug addicts that he has supposedly caused. If I would have asked her she could deny that there was ever such an intention. That this was just an innocent little march, not aimed at anyone in particular.

But of course I never asked.

If you pick such an example out of it's context, you might argue that a person who reacts like I do when I interpreted her intentions the way I did, is simply imagining things. Its nothing there. It's just paranoia. However in this particular case, it would be illogical to disregard the context, arranged and unnatural like it was, every hour of the day. In general, by design, it's difficult to prove it's there, but if you have ever experienced that sort of deniable harassment for any longer period of time, you will know. The reason for this is probably in many cases that people tend to reveal their feelings and intentions by their body language and by unintentionally giving little clues. They may also feel uneasy about taking part in organized harassment, even though some euphemism for 'harassment' is probably used to describe it to those participating. The true size of such an operation may not even be known to more than a few persons in key positions.

This was just an arbitrary example of deniable harassment. It was not done by a male rogue, but by a fine lady, presumably with the best of intentions. ( I hold no hard feelings against her or any one else of the people from the public who played these little pantomimes. With or without drugs. But I don't wan't to miss the opportunity, to point out that sometimes fine people, with the best of intentions, can be used by machiawellian organizers as excellent instruments of state repression. The machiawellian mind can turn anything into a weapon. )

It may seem very harmless to you now, but to me, at that particular time, it seemed as if they tried to demonize me, and I was really scared, that the mind controllers wanted to make preparations for a terminal event, in which I would be left physically paralyzed in some kind of compromising situation, involving drugs and all. The official explanation would be that I had taken an overdose of something. I would be left paralyzed, without being able to speak to defend myself. And I would seem to be the kind of person who caused little children to get HIV and who really got what he deserved in the end. You may laugh about it, but at the time this didn't seem like an entirely unrealistic outcome. And I beleive that these brain implants can indeed be used in that way. In this connection it should be mentioned, that there exists openly available information, which discusses other types of implants, probably of a much simpler design, which by some experts are expected to revolutionize (it's costeffective!) the handling of prisoners. These
  1. Can be controlled by satellite
  2. Can be used to paralyze a prisoner if he moves outside of an allowed region.
Another model, 'Sky-Eyes' is said to
  1. be invisible in an xray scan
  2. be easily implantable
  3. Does not need a battery
Elsewhere in this site there are several references to litterature on this subject.

Anyway, as I was taking photos of the ununiformed police officers, who recurrently turned up in the uncessant surveillance operation, somebody among the organizers must have panicked a bit, because suddenly I almost ran against a person with a strange appearance. He wore glasses of an unusual kind. The glasses were very thin vertically and colored. He was probably around 40 and his clothes were normal making the glasses look very bizarre. One explanation for using the glasses would be as a disguise, provided that the man had such unusual features, that the shape of the eyebrows and the eyes would be more easily concealed by such glasses then by other equipment that they could find in a hurry. Why would this bizarre appearance turn up there? He carried two boxes, looking like old typewriter cases or, maybe cases for sewing machines. Something of that size. Each hand was occupied by the handle of such a case and the man naturally had his walking legs between the pair of cases. This means, that anyone who passed this man on either of his sides would be exposed to the outer side of the nearby case, while the man would not be exposed likewise. This means that if there would be anything dangerous emanating from the outer part of the cases, this danger would only affect the passerby, not the man who was carrying the cases.

Here is my hypothesis: I beleive this man was carrying two cases, each containing a radioactive substance, emitting strong gammarays. By a press of his hand on the handle he could make some shielding lid open temporarily and as the passerby would pass him, he and his camera would be exposed to the gammarays, erasing the camera film, while the man who carried the boxes would be safe. I avoided passing the man, since I suspected, this to be some kind of trap. I was quite sure that this really was a high-tech 'camera killer', and I also decided it would be unwise continuing to use the camera, since I figured I wouldn't be able to defend myself against people who were willing to let things go this far. In less than a day they managed to destroy my film by other means, leaving a harmless part of the film unaffected. The torture continued and after about a week of mind-control horrors, they made it impossible to have any kind of rest in my home. I left, but realized I had nowhere to go. The few people I knew were gone for vacation or I wasn't in any shape for running around to look for them.

I ended up talking to some people at the hospital, and they said 'You need someone to talk to' and as so often happens for people subject to state repression, the only help they will offer is psychiatry, I accepted it since there weren't many other options left, being tortured in my home like I was. Everybody knows that the psychiatrists will never dare to go against the state and defend a person, who accuses the intelligence agencies of torturing him. I never mentioned anything about an implant, but when asked, I did say that I beleived that I was being harassed by some intelligence agency or antiterrorist police force. I figured such teams might have access to otherwise classified high-tech equipment.

I took great care to behave calmly and only answered the personnel on direct question. When they realized that I was accusing the authorities, they suggested I should take their fine medicine, and totally unprovoked, they also said frankly, that they could use violence if I didn't comply. So much for Sweden's human rights. Further the head of the mental hospital, behaved oddly. He sat down by my side and made sure our eyes couldn't meet. He looked straight into the wall. It struck me that he looked really scared, as if he was under pressure. I thought, maybe he had been given instructions by the authorities. For whatever reason he behaved thus, it certainly didn't increase my respect for psychiatry.

Many years later I have read about psychiatrists who really beleive that the authorities do things of this nature, and that some psychiatrists are afraid of being punished in the same way if they tell. I don't think this was the case here, but it wouldn't surprise me if they know about a lot of abuse, that they never pass on, for whatever misdirected loyalty.

The learned helplessness experiment
My room-mate, during my 3-day sejour at the mental hospital, was a psychotic, who got medicine that made him calm. He stayed in the room when I didn't say anything, but when I did, it wouldn't be long before he would leave the room for a little while, and when he returned, he would, as it appeared, be waiting for me to say something more. This somewhat odd behaviour went on for a while, and I thought, that somebody wanted me to think that my room mate was reporting what I was saying to him. The important thing is not what he did as he went out, but what impression it would leave on me, that he did that as soon as I had been saying something. But stayed for much longer time when I remained silent. I am not sure that the personnel at the mental hospital were controlling this guy, but I am sure somebody was and I think the reason for arranging it, was to intimidate me from talking to people about my experiences and hence to isolate me. Only recently, did I learn that this sort of 'therapy' was apparently used in the Corean war against American prisoners of war, and I beleive it was referred to as the learned helplessness model or something. The prisoners were encouraged to inform on each other and this made everyone stop communicating with the others until they became totally isolated, just as effectively as if they had been forced into isolation.

A few days earlier, when I had been under constant surveillance, everywhere I went in the city, I had the impression that there was something odd about some of the surveyors. They seemed detached, had expressionless faces in a manner, that seemed in need for an explanation. Maybe they were just bored or maybe they had been instructed to look like robots, or maybe they had been drugged? I mean unknowingly, they may have been given some drug. It is no secret that large numbers of american soldiers have been given drugs unknowingly, for experimental purposes. I dont know, but some of the guys I saw that day, in the beginning of july 1992, looked a bit like zombies to me. I am not sure this is important, though.

When I had newly arrived at the mental hospital, I noticed that the surveyors continued to march on the fields outside the hospital. They were spread out evenly (which never happens when people are walking independently, in which case there will always be more fluctuations in the flow of people) clearly proving that this was an organized operation. There was absolutely nothing useful they could do in that surrounding other than just walk aimlessly. I beleive this marching had the purpose of creating a paranoic athmosphere.

I didn't stay long at the mental hospital and after I left, I temporarily broke my habit of taking long nightly walks, but a few months later, as I tried to exercise my human rights, by switching back to my old habit, their organized madness broke loose again. They often had people actually following me on the floor above or seemingly so, because it turned out, they sometimes just produced the sounds inside my head. It seems their rationale would be to show you that you are under constant surveillance, by following you above your head as you're moving in your appartment. Getting you used to that paranoic athmosphere, they may then gradually switch over to using the brain implant for producing sounds that very realistically mimic such surveillance, and that nobody else can hear. And this way they can phase out the costly part of the operation that requires a lot of people taking part and if you tell somebody about the surveillance you will be treated like a schizophrenic. Any psychiatrist would be happy to 'explain' it to you. I never talked to anyone about it since it was pretty obvious that they were deliberately trying to create a framework that would lend itself to a psychiatric explanation. And they would go to great lengths to achieve that end. Remember, their aim is to control people, while keeping the whole operation plausibly deniable.

You could well ask how much the tax payers are paying for keeping such operations alive.

I remember a period more then two years after the whole thing began, when they became a little careless and used an identical sound recording repetetively, so there wasn't any natural variation in the surveillance imitations.

In 1992, when there was intensive surveillance going on and when I would be accompanied by a stream of people every time I left my home, they had all these people activated anyway, so there wouldn't be much additional trouble having them do a little extra door slamming above me and making other synchronized signs of surveilling me. In the long run, it would however be much more cost effective to simulate it through the implant.

They produced sounds directly into my brain to give me the impression that my neighbours would be surveying or harassing me long after the real surveyors had left. There were also much more subtle types of influence acting on me. E. g., simultaneous with the production of threatening sounds seeming to be emanating from a neighbour, there was a kind of suggestive effect at work. Such as to make me fear my neighbours or inducing anger directed towards them. It felt like something coming from without and I never could mistake it for a genuine feeling, but such things are so subtle, that you tend to repress the thought of it, for the usual fear of being suspected of suffering from some kind of insanity.

The use of both the oldfashioned type of surveillance and harassment, i e using ordinary people or police officers, and in addition, using the electronic mind-control technology, is not only aimed at the victim, but in addition, it is also a way to cover up the high-tech operation, since the guys in the low-tech operation may think they are the only ones in action. I will not elaborate on it here.

I also noted that there seemed to be a slight anomaly, regarding the vehicles they used for part of the surveillance. There seemed to be an anomalously high fraction that had the same colour. I thought that they had hired the cars and that they had been given some bargain price if they accepted a limited choice of colours. Normally I would never mention this, since it would seem to divert the attention from more important matters, but I have seen some other mind-control victims, who have made similar observations. And they seem to be ridiculed for suggesting that somebody would take the trouble of deliberately arranging this sort of subtle anomaly. Long after the event, I have been thinking that maybe they did it as a kind of psychological warfare tactics and that it wasn't just because they happened to hire cars more cheaply. Here is how they might reason: By arranging that the target of the surveillance is exposed to a lot of little anomalies like the one mentioned, the person may be tempted to keep records of everything, as proof. This will redirect the persons attention and energy from concentrating on those facts that seem more threatening to the surveyors, namely to note what they look like and maybe finding out their identities. In a sense, what they could hope to accomplish, by doing it would be to raise the noise level, to blur everything. To make the person devote a lot of time just to keep track of insignificant details.

When I was under intensive surveillance, it was at times so irritating, that I would have liked to give some of those surveyors a good beating, but being basically a very nonviolent nature, I never really came close to doing that. And besides, I thought that the mind controllers would have loved that, maybe they would have offered such a beaten surveyor, to sign a security oath, whereafter he would have been given the opportunity of retaliating directly into my brain. Those are not fair conditions, and in general, I don't recommend anyone to use violence against the states perpetrators.

More importantly, the surveyors are just the people at the bottom of the hierarchy.

Since I had now been connected with psychiatry once, I was expecting that they would try to use that somehow. For instance by trying to arrange some kind of new breakdown, preferably fitting into some established psychiatric diagnosis. Such as cyclic psychosis. A very useful one, that diagnose. Since it is cyclic, it's not there all the time, explaining why most people don't think you're crazy. But everytime you claim that some state perpetrators are after you it's just another cycle of the psychosis. In my case they decided a cycle of three years would be suitable. I was in a different city then. One night, as the lightning struck in the nearby forest, with a fairly strong effect reaching into the room, where I was sleeping, they used that as a suitable starting point for a torture session, worse than anything they had done for a long time, and mimicking the breakout of some kind of psychosis attack. I gather they thought that the lightning could be used as a plausible explanation of what had initiated the psychotic breakdown, that they were arranging to simulate by using the brain implant. They then incessantly tortured me for three days. All along I was cursing them, and sincerely wished that they would suffer forever in the eternal fire. I dont think I have ever felt such a strong wish at any time. (I no longer feel that way about it.) During those days they ought to have understood, that I knew about the mind-control device, but I never stated it clearly and you never know with people. On the third day, I came to the decision that I would hang myself in one of the trees, if they hadn't stopped the torture, before the evening of the fourth day. Since there were no signs of much improvement, I made preparations, found a rope and tried to focus on the practical aspects of the hanging, of what could go wrong. I didn't wan't to survive with some severe brain damage or a broken neck or something. I thought that that particular forest wasn't a very inspiring place to die in, but I was really determined to get away from the deep humiliation, that they were forcing on me. A doctor was called by somebody and that doctor calmly tried to convince me not to kill myself. I never gave any explanation of why I had that intention, since I had never told anybody about the mind-control horror I was enduring. I felt sorry for the doctor. She had travelled a long way and I thought one should reward people for showing empathy like that. In any case, I accepted, to once more be sent to a mental hospital. At the hospital, there were some friendly people, who told me they had many fine medicines, that would be suitable. But this time there were no threats. I also had made a decision not to say anything about the reason for being there. I told them, they wouldn't beleive me, and that I would be worse off if I told them. The torture did not stop at the mental hospital although the mind controllers, decreased the total amount of torture.

Not surprisingly, I had been placed in a room, where my room mate suffered from cyclic psychosis. The mind controllers regularly tortured and humiliated me in my room. Both on other previous occasions, and in the hospital, they subjected me to manipulations where the brain implant was used in a very sophisticated manner. To begin with, it was used to create sounds inside my head, that made it appear as if somebody was constantly manoeuvering the water tubes above my head. On the same time they were affecting those parts of the brain, through the implant, that affect the senses for heat and cold, making it appear as if they were really changing the temperature of the water in a chaotic manner. Everybody knows how watertaps can sometimes behave in very annoying ways, without any need for any deliberate sabotage, but here it wasn't any natural cause, and it was a deliberate harassment, intended to make my conditions unpleasant and to provide the symptoms of insanity that they were so eagerly striving for. Note that I had been prepared by actually being surveyed by people walking above my head for periods of several months or more, so it wouldn't have seemed out of the question, that somebody might actually be standing somewhere in some service shaft and adjusting the waterflow or the cold / warm water ratio. It isn't easy to tell exactly when a sound is a real one and when it's just inside your head. But there is a way that probably is quite reliable. If the real sound has very low dynamical content, that is the strongest and the weakest parts don't differ too much, then it's harder to tell the difference, but in most cases, genuine sounds, caused by some physical act, are usually accompanied by fairly strong impulses of various kinds that cause waves to travel several different ways and not only to the ear through the air, but also to the head through the legs from the ground, a seismic wave if you like. You get a more 3-dimensional feeling in a manner of speaking. The sounds they have produced sofar, with the implant, can be characterised by lacking in that kind of content. The reason is probably that they can't afford to use a high dynamic range in the electronic equipment that they use, since that would lead to an audible noise level, significative for electronic equipment. But this technology is rapidly developing, and they will undoubtedly continue to perfect the illusion.

During the torture session, which preceeded this second encounter with the mental health care, among other things they used the brain implant to simulate that the water to the shower in the place where I stayed would be contaminated, smelling unpleasantly. There wasn't anything wrong with the water, but the illusion was quite good and it took a little while before I realized, that the sense of smell, can be just as easily manipulated through the brain implant as any of the other senses.

I am fully aware of the fact that there are some forms of brain damage or sickness, that sometimes can produce similar effects. This awareness also, made me keep all these observations to myself. If you constantly feed the controllers with information about your current impressions, you make it possible for them to be more successful in their deception and manipulation, but when you tell them nothing and you let the years go by, they have much fewer options and they have to be extremely cautious and planning to foresee everything. They are to some extent, but the task is too formidable. The Machiawellian mind needs a little input to thrive. So the best is not to give him any. This kind of counter measure only works as long as they want to study you 'live' . Otherwise it is possible to deprive a person of the control of the mind to any degree.

During the prolonged torture session, there were some incidents where they experimented with me in such a way that I could estimate the resolution that the electronic device had on my skin. It seemed to be very high and I knew that this meant that there must be a large number of independent connection points between the implant and the brain. Later I have learnt that modern brain implants exist, which establish such contact by somehow stimulating the neurons to grow, or move microscopically, so that they become partially encapsulated in small cavities in the electronic device.

I was wondering, whether the implant can be used to read a persons handwriting, by monitoring the signals in the brain caused by the motions of the hand. I don't think so, but that may be coming. All along I did have a very distinct impression that the mind controllers were arranging a well thought-out combination of symptoms, that would fit into some psychiatrists clinical experience, in order to turn the truthful recount of my experiences into a weapon in the hands of the state perpetrators. I wonder how much of the clinical experience of present day psychiatry, which, unknowingly, derives from the study of such human guinea pigs.

Note added later:
Later, I read somewhere, that students of psychiatry are sometimes given examples of paranoid schizofrenia, which seem to be aimed at preparing unknowing psychiatrists for the situations typical when people are subject to state terror of the kind under discussion, so that the victims allegations and description of symptoms will, falsely, appear to be a common occurrence among genuine cases of schizofrenia.

This paragraph is written after the rest of the text, as an afterthought and inserted where it belongs chronologically, but I didn't remember this until after everything else was written.

As I am writing this, I suddenly also remember being talked to, at the time of the peak of the torture period, by more than a single person, but there was one that stood out. Somebody who seemed confident (selfassured) and enthusiastic about what he was doing. I also had the impression that this person had some sort of psychiatric background or at least was familiar with psychiatry. This may have lasted for less than an hour or at the most a few hours. This person seemed to think that, whatever it was that they intended to do or for whatever purpose, he was in his full right of doing it. I was going do get a lesson and he would be the teacher or the pilot or whatever He didn't sound cruel. He just seemed to be very confident that he was doing the right thing. This would seem to fit better with a different explanation from that I gave earlier, namely that the intention would be some kind of shock therapy as a part of a long-term experiment. The fact that I was allowed to hear several voices may have been a way of telling me that there were several people behind the decision to treat me thus. Maybe those guys really feared that they would end up in the ethernal fire and that they needed to strengthen their morale by showing me that they were at ease and that they were sure that they weren't doing anything bad. It was only I, stupid kid that I am, not to understand their great wisdom.

This is speculation, but it strikes me as a reasonable explanation of why they chose to let me hear them. They were having second thoughts about their participation in the mind-control experiment after hearing me cursing them repeatedly and with an unexpected intensity. Maybe they really did feel bad about it.
I am not sure they knew I could hear them, but it really seemed that way. And it seemed like this was a somewhat improvised and unfamiliar experience for them. One explanation could be that the regular mind controllers, the ones who 'pressed the buttons', wanted to cover their backs by having their peers participate actively.

Curiously, about a week after I wrote the lines just above, I read the article Of Conspiracies and Conspiracy Theories: The Truth Buried by the Fantasies by Robin Ramsay in 1996, see the references.
There he actually says he has got written statements from 2 alleged mind control victims, who claim to "hear..voices of teams of psychologists and intelligence personnel monkeying around with their brains."

(Robin Ramsay also says he has not yet seen any convincing evidence that there are any people with implants.)

In the mental hospital, I talked to some other people. Two said they were drug addicts and they seemed genuine enough to me. One of them told me, spontaneously, that police recruites in a particular swedish city would pick up drug addicts and transport them to a place where they were experimented on, and this person also expected me to be already informed about similar things. Since I hadn't told anybody about anything of this nature ever, and since I had never even hinted on the true reason why I was there, it seemed strange that I would be expected to beleive such things. I said I didn't beleive that such things happened, and I wondered if that person was some kind of infiltrator/provocateur or whether this only reflected the shocking realities of Sweden in the 1990's.

Later that year, the mind controllers, let me hear a female voice, telling me something like:"You should watch out, we are very fed up with you, and we can do much worse than this". I didn't know exactly what she was referring to, since they hadn't been particularly busy right then. But with my previous experience, I didn't take this for an empty threat. The voice was talking in the local idiom, and I thought, that maybe the mind controllers had recorded the voice of some local police officer and, probably against the regulations, let me hear it. (I am not insinuating that such a police officer would have to be involved with the high-tech part of the mind-control operation, but I was being surveyed at the time, and it didn't seem inconceivable that some police officers, who, most unwillingly, had to take some part in it, could have felt that way.) Normally, the mind controllers avoided that sort of obvious harassment, and preferred more easily deniable methods, such as pinching me in the ear (simulating it in the brain), when they thought I was trying to write some kind of code. I mean when I wasn't writing simply formatted text on the computer, but was fiddling around with the size and kerning of characters in a nontrivial manner. Then they seemed to think that I was trying to conceal something from them. It was obvious that they were able to see everything I wrote on the computer instantly. Nothing of this really surprised me. It seemed more like the Big Brother manners, that you might expect.

I still have no idea why they started the whole thing. I have naturally never been accused of anything. Only punished. But there are some circumstances from back in 1983-84 or thereabout, when I actually did something involving an electronic device that wasn't illegal, but that nevertheless could have caused some suspicion and that later could have been combined with other loose ends to arrive at some kind of potential terrorist profile. I want to emphasize that I have never threatened anyone or ever had any intention to do any harm to others. I am thinking that it might have been used as an excuse for experimenting on me. If you combine several loose ends from a persons life by breaking into his home, while he is gone and start drawing superficial conclusions, without checking with the person or anyone who knows him, you may easily come to very misleading conclusions. I beleive this is what actually happened. Either the police or some 'vigilante' group broke into my home secretely and went through my posessions, and among other things they might have found a box full of legal vitamine pills, that they may have taken for drugs.
If they had taken a sample and had given it to some forensic chemical analysis, the misunderstanding would have been sorted out.
Apparently this wasn't done, and instead, the loosely founded suspicions were presented as facts, by somebody who was considered a reliable source by the local police.
There was also a syringe, which I used for lubrication and therefore it was contaminated with oil. Again a forensic chemical analysis would have made it improbable that it was used for drugs.
I didn't throw any of the above-mentioned objects in the waste until long after that, so there is no way they could have known about them without breaking in.
I also had a small-caliber rifle of fixed length, much to large to be hidden in the bag I used to bring along when I went out, so it couldn't have been the reason why the police would expect me to be prone to shoot at them. There was a case of ammunition and that particular type of ammunition was named 'Laser'. It wasn't a laser weapon, it was just arbitrarily named that way. Those who thought they found drugs in my home, may also have thought that they found a laser weapon.
At the time, I beleive the police were chasing a person, known as the 'laser-man', who killed and maimed immigrants with a laser weapon and he got caught later. On the wall I had a cork-panel pinboard, on which I would pin various notes. I had so many such unused pins that I arranged them in the shape of a cross. When the cross reached the pin board frame, there were still many unused pins left. So I put the rest of the pins at an angle, which created a swastika. It wasn't intentional, it was just a convenient arrangement, so I let it remain that way for quite a long time. But those who broke into my home and thought they found drugs, may well have thought that the guy living there had nazi sympathies. A right-wing terrorist who planned to shoot people with a laser weapon and more. Could that be the way they pictured me? This is how I thought about it, at the time, when I was trying to understand on what grounds they chose me.

According to several sources there appears to be a pattern, where e.g. right-wing extremists are subjected to mind control, and then they are used as programmed killers and as scapegoats for actions that are in reality the work of the intelligence agencies. The preference for right-wing extremists is due to the expectancy, that it will then be easier to gain wide acceptance for infringements on constitutional rights. But the general idea is to create the impression that the perpetrator is acting on his own initiative and that there is no conspiracy.

The murder of Olof Palme appears to fit in with that pattern.

If you learn more about the post-war history from uncensored sources, you will find things of that nature mentioned there. See the reference list.

I have told you these details above because this illustrates why the protection of peoples privacy, is considered so important by many. If you don't know a person when you illegally break into his home, it may lead to serious misunderstandings. When the police has a search warrant and openly enters a persons home, there is some room to sort out such misunderstandings. But when there is never any open accusation and everything is done in a deniable way, there is great risk that everything runs out of control.
Issuing search warrants more easily will probably be viewed by many as a development towards a totalitarian state, but if the alternative is to have them acting covertly, perfecting all sorts of deniable methods, systematically covering up crimes commited in the process, all silently approved by the authorities, ( 'no questions asked' hypocritical mentality ), I prefer the former method, where you know who you are dealing with.
I am not so much offended by individual police officers, 'improvising' a bit when they try to recon on the bad guys, as I am offended by what I suspect to be a hypocritical attitude among the people further up in the system, who don't want to get dirt on their hands, but who don't give a damn about what's really going on, as long as it's deniable.

Digression concerning the choice of mind-control victims:
Afterthought written later and inserted into the text, after having read about the following phenomena:

  • So called 'alien abduction' of people, which by some is beleived to be caused by special military organizations, who abduct people in order to have them experimented on under controlled conditions.
    See The Controllers by Martin Cannon in the References.
  • Certain official documents that existed some years ago contained definitions of what kind of people could be considered spies and therefore would be legitimate 'targets of electronic surveillance'. Such people could then be used to experiment on electronically, using various techniques. In practise, anybody could become a victim for this kind of experimentation.
  • Deniability is a requirement.
  • There are methods for erasing memories and perhaps for implanting false memories as well. The person could be made to forget everything about the abduction, even if he has been awake during part of the abduction period. If such false memories were implanted the person wouldn't notice any missing time. It needn't be perfect, just good enough to give the resemblance of having been at home during the abduction period. Maybe it is possible to change the impression of when a particular period of events actually took place, so that a missing time period could be 'filled in' with events taking place some months earlier. Who knows?
I make the following hypothesis:
The people who do these experiments are rational actors, and they are guided mainly by scientific considerations plus deniability. Further, I hypothesize that the experimenting generally involves implanting electronic devices inside the heads of the victims. It is reasonable that they need time to do a good job out of it and that the time needed may be so long that in many cases, the victims chosen would be missed by their relatives etc. Lets assume they would still do it on such a person. This could work if the person were a drug addict, a mental patient or a person without much contact with other people. Under some conditions they could even have the victim temporarily replaced by a look-alike to avoid suspicion. With a drug addict people would be less suspicious if they perceived some personality changes and it would be easier to replace such a person for a while. But in any case it is obvious that lonely people would be at greater risk to be chosen, since they could be abducted without being missed by any close relation. By studying potential victims for a prolonged period of time, it would be possible to single out some individuals, who would pose the least risk of arousing suspicion if they were gone for a while.
I would have made an excellent choice in that respect. Sometimes I wouldn't talk to anybody for weeks. No phone calls, nothing. I would read and I would go for walks, pondering over some scientific problem. At the most extreme period I didn't even listen to the radio for months. From this point of view it would seem possible that I were implanted earlier than I previously thought. It would then be more likely that I wouldn't be able to recall any period of time, when there could be some missing time or when something would seem to be illogical somehow.

Note added later:
Some loose ends. Trying to find out what other excuses they may have used.
  • When I was 4 years old my mother was divorced and we left Sweden for Canada and stayed in Toronto for a year. I have no reason to beleive that anything was done to me then, but maybe that background could make a difference. When I left the school (all I remember was the Union Jack), one teacher told my mother that I was bright, but that I would have social problems later in life.
  • In 1982 I was present at a conference, where the main body of topics treated was non-military, but I recall at least one scientist presenting a paper on star-wars technology.
  • Before 1985, a person called the physics department, and told somebody he wanted experts to help him investigate the origin of rays that he claimed were beamed at him in his home, through the wall. The call was transferred to me and I attentively listened to him. He was very persistent, but I didn't find sufficient cause to doubt his sanity. No action was taken, but it did worry me a bit. At that time I knew nothing about mind control.
  • On another occasion a person claiming to be persecuted by a foreign intelligence agency, wanted to join the department, but wasn't accepted.

  • (The reader can skip this point without loosing continuity.)
    In 1987, during my independent research, I was developing an unorthodox theory (unpublished) of the human mind and a possible connection with the external natural world, including interactions between the suns electromagnetic field and various global patterns on earth.
    I won't dwell on the details of that particular theory, but lately I have learnt about some high-power electromagnetic experimenting by the military with the athmosphere. And there is mention of high-power long-wave radiofrequency being used for communication with submarines and some say also for global mind control. I am skeptic about the latter claim, but the problem area is clearly actively persued by the military, and for this reason, it occurred to me that if their surveillance, included studying my notes, at that time, this might have given them some excuse to consider me suspicious. (That is, if I was already targeted by some intelligence activity.)

Around christmas-time 1998, I finally broke the silence. I had then experienced torture with the brainimplant both during evening courses, during lectures at Chalmers Institute of Technology, and during my work as a programmer. There didn't seem to be any end to it and in addition, due to my increasing frustration I began letting out some steam, by shouting very load as they were torturing me in my bed in the night, thereby waking my little son who was scared and cried. I could see no other way than to strive for the maximum of publicity. There was no point in turning the other cheek any longer. I had been very reluctant to tell anybody, because I felt that once I begin, I will have to follow it through, and I will probably have to struggle with people who are reluctant to beleive me, and it seemed that it might take all my energy.

As this is written, a year has gone, since I began trying to reach out. First I tried with the police, and they told me I probably was afraid that there wasn't any foreign object in my head, so I turned to a Doctor to get the necessary referral, and as long as she didn't know the precise nature of my problems, she recommended a skilled specialist, and would try to get me in there, but as I later explained that I had been implanted and tortured, she turned away from me and tried to redirect me to psychiatry, telling me that at the local psychiatrics clinic, they were familiar with this kind of delusional condition. I politely insisted on her explaining to me the details of the similarity which she had implied, between my story and these other patients, but she didn't answer. I assume this was because she really didn't know anything about it and didn't bother to find out. Due to these difficulties I decided it would be necessary to press on for publicity, if I were to get any decent treatment. After many months of writing letters and making phone calls, I have been promised by both the radio and by the newspaper DN, that they will let me through. Not until around october 1999, did I inform myself about other cases of mind control. I only learned the term then. Before that the only case, I had ever heard of was that of Timothy McVeigh, the person who got a death sentence for the Oklahoma City Bombing. A couple of years ago, I heard on a TV broadcast that McVeigh claimed to have an implant and that they were using it to control him. Something like that. Information relating to McVeigh can be found in:

The Oklahoma City Bombing and the Politics of Terror . .by David Hoffman.

After having spent some days reading about the other people who have experiences similar to mine, and realizing that these things have never been touched by swedish media, I felt very sad. I realized that these media trust that they get reliable information from the dominating news agencies, and they never really try to get information from independent sources. Realizing this, I felt that swedish journalists have a lot to learn if they are ever to be able to bring the truth to the public. Moreover, I also feel that they seem to lack in empathy. But maybe I am wrong there.
It is frustrating to know that you have to fight so hard, just to get a little attention. That they don't really care much for people who don't have a position or any contacts. I mean who's side are those journalists on? In Sweden the newspapers get enormous sums of taxpayer's money just to keep those dragons barely alive. This is supposed to guarantee an open debate. As I was reading documents on the internet, I learned more about the general problem of Nonconsensual Human Experimentation, where mind-control experiments is only a small part and where apparently war veterans have been subjected to unethical experimentation on a large scale. I learned about the efforts towards a new legislation, Human Research Subject Protections Act of 1997, where Sen. John Glenn was involved and about President Bill Clinton's memo concerning a policy for Strengthened Protections for Human Subjects of Classified Research.
Now as I tried to direct the attention of swedish journalists to the fact that the US President had to direct his government not to make unethical experiments on US citizens, you would expect that this would be considered to be an important information. But the spontaneous reaction I got from a journalist with whom I spoke only very briefly was as follows:"I don't know in what context Bill Clinton said that." I am citing this, because I beleive it tells us something about the general attitude of media people towards the public. It's not the sources we cite that counts, it's who we are, what kind of relation we have been able to establish with the media. This is an entirely anti-intellectual attitude, and I can't see how we can ever have an open debate as long as media people treat the public with such disdain.

References - 1

References - 2

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