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20 Revised Rules for Women

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  1. SportsCenter starts at 10:00 pm and runs an hour. This is a great time to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer or talk to your sister.
  2. Even if its a common cold or a sprained ankle, no one, ever, has been in worse shape.
  3. Let us know how brave we are for dealing with that common cold or sprained ankle.
  4. Unlike you, we essentially want to dress just exactly like all our friends.
  5. If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
  6. Hangovers are never our fault!
  7. The fact that your best friend just broke up with her boyfriend does not make the rest of us miserable pigs.
  8. Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?
  9. Briefs are a no-no, no matter what.
  10. Hair jokes are not funny.
  11. The genetic coding required to ask for directions is not contained in the Y chromosome. Therefore, you need not bother suggesting that we stop.
  12. Love our mothers.
  13. Love our sisters.
  14. Really, really love our dogs.
  15. You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.
  16. Things you can help with: the Sunday crossword, yard work and the dishes.
  17. Things you should let us do alone: figuring out where we are, playing cards and smoking cigars.
  18. Socks never constitute a gift.
  19. We did water the plants. They died anyway. Nobody knows why this happens
  20. Compromise does not mean that we abandon our position in favor of yours.

 

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