The Real Slim Shady</a><br></a><br>

Artist: Eminem</a><br>
Album: The Marshall Mathers LP</a><br>
Written by: Marshall Mathers, André Young, M. Bradford</a><br></a><br>



May I have your attention please</a><br>
May I have your attention please</a><br>
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up</a><br>
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up</a><br>
We’re gonna have a problem here </a><br></a><br>

Y’all act like you’ve never seen a white person before</a><br>
Jaws all on the floor, like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door</a><br>
Started whoopin’ her ass worse than before</a><br>
They first get divorced, throwin’ her over furniture</a><br>
It’s the return of the...Oh, wait, no way, you’re kidding</a><br>
He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he</a><br>
And Dr. Dre said...Nothing, you idiots</a><br>
Dr. Dre’s dead, he’s locked in my basement</a><br>
Feminist women love Eminem</a><br>
Jigga-jigga-jigga, Slim Shady, I’m sick of him, look at him</a><br>
Walkin’ around grabbin’ his you-know-what</a><br>
Limpin’ to you-know-who (Yeah, but he’s so cute though)</a><br>
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose</a><br>
But no worse than what’s goin’ on in your parent’s bedrooms</a><br>
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose</a><br>
But can’t, but it’s cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose</a><br>
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips</a><br>
And if I’m lucky you might just give it a little kiss</a><br>
And that’s the message that we deliver to little kids</a><br>
And expect them not to know what a woman’s clitoris is</a><br>
Of course they’re gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit </a><br>4th grade</a><br>
They got the Discovery Channel, don’t they</a><br>
We ain’t nothin’ but mammals</a><br>
Well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes</a><br>
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes</a><br>
Then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t elope</a><br>
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote</a><br>
Women wave your panty hoes, sing the chorus, and it goes</a><br></a><br>

I’m Slim Shady</a><br>
Yes, I’m the real Shady</a><br>
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating</a><br>
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up</a><br>
Please stand up, Please stand up</a><br></a><br>

‘Cause I’m Slim Shady</a><br>
Yes, I’m the real Shady</a><br>
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating</a><br>
So won’t the real Slim shady please stand up</a><br>
Please stand up, please stand up</a><br></a><br>

Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records</a><br>
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too</a><br>
You think I give a damn about a Grammy</a><br>
Half of you critics can’t even stomach me, let alone stand me</a><br>
(But Slim, what if you win, wouldn’t it be weird)</a><br>
Why, so you guys can just lie to get me here</a><br>
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears</a><br>
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs</a><br>
So I could sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst</a><br>
And hear ‘em argue over who she gave head to first</a><br>
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV</a><br>
(Yeah, he’s cute, but I think he’s married to Kim, hee-hee)</a><br>
I should download her audio on MP3</a><br>
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD</a><br>
I’m sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me</a><br>
So I have been sent here to destroy you</a><br>
And there’s a million of us just like me, who cuss like me</a><br>
Who just don’t give a fuck like me</a><br>
Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me</a><br>
It just might be the next best thing, but not quite me</a><br></a><br>

‘Cause I’m Slim Shady</a><br>
Yes, I’m the real Shady</a><br>
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating</a><br>
So won’t the real Slim shady please stand up</a><br>
Please stand up, please stand up</a><br></a><br>

‘Cause I’m Slim Shady</a><br>
Yes, I’m the real Shady</a><br>
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating</a><br>
So won’t the real Slim shady please stand up</a><br>
Please stand up, please stand up</a><br></a><br>

I’m like a headtrip to listen to ‘cause I’m only givin’ you</a><br>
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room</a><br>
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya’ll</a><br>
And I don’t gotta be false or sugarcoated at all</a><br>
I just get on the mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it</a><br>
I just shit it better than 90% of you rappers out can</a><br>
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums</a><br>
It’s funny ‘cause at the rate I’m goin’ when I’m 30</a><br>
I’ll be the only person in the nursin’ home flirty</a><br>
Pinchin’ nurses asses when I’m jackin’ off with Jergens and I’m jerkin’</a><br>
But this whole bag of Viagra isn’t workin’</a><br>
In every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin’</a><br>
He could be workin’ at Burger King spittin’ on your onion rings</a><br>
Or in the parking lot circling, screamin’ “I don’t give a fuck”</a><br>
With his windows down and system up</a><br>
So will the real Shady, please stand up</a><br>
And put one of those fingers on each hand up</a><br>
Then be proud to be outta your mind and outta control</a><br>
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go</a><br></a><br>

I’m Slim Shady</a><br>
Yes, I’m the real Shady</a><br>
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating</a><br>
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up</a><br>
Please stand up, Please stand up</a><br></a><br>

‘Cause I’m Slim Shady</a><br>
Yes, I’m the real Shady</a><br>
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating</a><br>
So won’t the real Slim shady please stand up</a><br>
Please stand up, please stand up</a><br></a><br>

‘Cause I’m Slim Shady</a><br>
Yes, I’m the real Shady</a><br>
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating</a><br>
So won’t the real Slim shady please stand up</a><br>
Please stand up, please stand up</a><br></a><br>

‘Cause I’m Slim Shady</a><br>
Yes, I’m the real Shady</a><br>
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating</a><br>
So won’t the real Slim shady please stand up</a><br>
Please stand up, please stand up</a><br></a><br>

Ha-ha</a><br>
Guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of us</a><br>
Let’s all stand up</a><br>
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