13th September 2000:
Went to see my doctor because I'd found a lump in my right breast. My doctor also felt
the lump and phoned a near hospital. They'd time to see me later the same day. I went there and had a
mammography, an ultrasonic test and a biopsy done. They noticed two lumps - a big one (2 cm) and a small one.
It also seemed to be something in my lymphnodes.
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25th September 2000:
My doctor called me at work and told me he wanted me to come to him and talk about the
lump. I went there immeditaely. He told me it was cancer. I went home in tears. I called my husband, my parents,
my dear cousin Elisabeth and my colleagues at work. My husband immediately left work and came home to comfort me.
Elisabeth left everything at home and drove 110 km to come and stay with me for a couple of days.
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28th September 2000:
Went to the hospital together with my husband to meet a surgeon and a breast cancer
specialist. They gave me more information about the cancer and about the treatment they were planning for me. I
also had another biopsy done to see if my cancer was estrogen positive.
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4th October 2000:
My cousin Elisabeth followed me to the hospital. A small metallic box was placed inside my
skin above my left breast. From the box there is a tiny tube that goes right into a vein in my throat. Every time
in the future they'll give me cytotoxin treatments through this box. The veins becomes weak by the cytotoxin so this
is to make it easier for me.
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5th October 2000:
Together with my husband I went to the special cancer hospital (Radiumhemmet) here in Stockholm.
They gave us more information about my future treatments. I met the doctor who'll be "mine" during all these hard
nine months. Yes, they say it will take about nine months...
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9th October 2000:
My mum followed me on my first cytotoxin treatment. We had to wait hours for the medicines...
I realised you don't feel anything during the treatment (infusion), it just takes time. It's good to have someone
dear with you.
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10th to 13th October 2000:
Because of the very good medicines they have nowadays you don't have to feel too
awful after a cytotoxin treatment. But I felt sick and had to force myself to eat. My mum stayed with me and took
care of my children and the household. On the 11th I thought I felt so good that I went to work for some hours. It
turned out I'd been too optimistic. The day after I was hardly able to leave my bed.
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16th October 2000:
Started to work again, but not full time - about 4-5 hours a day. Very tired in the evenings.
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18th October 2000:
Went to the hospital to have an ultrasonic test of my stomach. The only thing they found was an
one cm gallstone. Nothing to worry about! After lunch my mum followed me to the wig-maker to try out a wig for me.
We spent more than one hour there while I was trying different wigs. I finally found one that was in my style. No, I'd
not started to loose any hair yet, but my doctor had assured me I soon will...
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19th October 2000:
Went to the hospital again for more x-rays. This time my lungs and a total check of all the rest
of my body. Was a bit worried as they took several pictures of my lungs and discussed the picutres as if they'd seen
something strange. In a week I would have the result.
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23rd October 2000:
My hair started to fall and fall and fall...
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25th October 2000:
My husband and I went to see my doctor. I wanted someone to hold my hand when I was given the
result of the earlier x-rays. I didn't have to worry! They'd not found cancer in any other parts of my body :o)
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30th October 2000:
My wonderful cousin Elisabeth followed me on my second cytotoxin treatment. I'd lost so much
hair I had to wear my wig for the first time.
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30th October to 2nd November 2000:
My mum came and stayed with me. Even if the dose of cytotoxin I got this time
was stronger I actually felt better. I was not as tired as the first time and didn't feel so strange in my head.
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6th November 2000:
Went to work again! Again I was able to work 4-5 hours each day and meet all my lovely
colleagues.
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11th November 2000:
Went with my family to stay with my parents over the weekend. Unfortunaely my stomach went
upside down. It took four days before I felt ok again. Had a lot of bloodtests done to see if something was
wrong, but perhaps it was a reaction caused by one of all the medicines that I am taking?
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17th November 2000:
Met my doctor to discuss the third chemical treatment. We discussed an area of my
breast that felt strange. She decided to let me have a biopsy of it. It was nothing that they'd been able to
see earlier when I had the mammography done. None had noticed it earlier except me.
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20th November 2000:
Had my third cytotoxin treatment. Elisabeth came the 110 km to be with me. Once again
the dose was higher (step III). When I came home I started to feel sick immediately. The "anti-sick" medicine
didn't seem to help as good as earlier. The dose was too strong and I had to vomit.
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20th to 26th November 2000:
This period after was much harder than the two earlier. I felt more sick. It was
harder to sleep during the nights. My head was working "overtime" all the time. No rest.
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27th November 2000:
Phoned my doctor because I had pain in both sides - kidney problems? She thought a
doctor should have to take a look at it and I had to go to the hospital late in the evening. Fortunately
nothing seemed to be wrong :o)
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28th November 2000:
My doctor phoned me and told me they decided to operate on me in only about two weeks.
The cytotoxin treatments don't give the expected result...
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29th November 2000:
Finally I felt so good I was able to go to work again :o)
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5th December 2000:
Went to see a surgeon at the hospital. He examined me and told me they are
going to operate on me four weeks after me last cytotoxin treatment. A nurse booked the operation. I
will be operated on the 20th of December.
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17th December 2000:
I've just come home after having been to the hospital. I met the nurse who'll
take care of me during the operation day. I also met the anaesthetist. I was disappointed when I heard
that they won't allow my husband to be with me during the day. He'll just be able to sit in the waiting
room! In the evening the ward will be open for visitors for one hour and then he'll be able to visit me.
I am scared...
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20th December 2000:
Today they took my right breast and some of my lymph nodes. I was very tired after
the operation and could hardly keep my eyes open when my husband was allowed to visit me in the evening.
I was very surprised to notice that I was able to move my right arm quite well! I just have to be careful
and not do the same things for more than 10 minutes. After 10 days I'll start training my arm.
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23rd December 2000:
My wonderful cousin Elisabeth will come and take away the tiny tube that goes from the
wound. It's for draining the wound. I feel OK and it wasn't so terrbile to take a look at the wound as I'd
thought... Now I will celebrate Christmas with my near family and enjoy life! After New Year a new hard period
with cytotoxin (chemo) treatments will start again...
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28th December 2000:
Today I met the surgeon who was operating on me. He told me that they'd found four
tumours (two more than expected) and three (out of 25) of my lymphnodes had been affected. I don't know
how to feel about this. The cancer should be gone, but I still don't feel happy. I don't worry or feel
depressed, but I can't beleive the cancer is gone forever...
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