10.They have a lot of date,but they are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice until you bring them home.
7. It's always necessary to have a backup.
6.They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention,you have to turn them on.
3.The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.
The man looks round and doesn't see anyone so he tries again. "Ribbit. 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron.
Boom! he hits a birdie. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog eh?" The frog reply's "Ribbit, Lucky frog. Lucky frog."
The man decided to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?", the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood." was the reply. The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "Ok where to next?"
The frog replys, "Ribbit Las Vegas". They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "Ok frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette".
Upon approaching the roulette table the man asks,"what do you think I should bet?" The frog reply, "Ribbit $3000 black 6." Now, this is a million to one shot that this would win but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You won me all this money and I am forever grateful.
" The frog replies, "Ribbit, Kiss Me". He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him he deserves it. All of a sudden the frog turns into the most gorgeous 16 year old girl in the world.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room".
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After the Lord had created Man, he chose to give him 20 years of a Normal Sex Life. Man's reply was "20 Years!...Is that all?"
The Lord was very sound on the subject. He said, "That is all I will give to you." Then the Lord called upon the Lion, and gave the Lion 20 years. The Lion said to the Lord, "I really only need 10". The man raised his hand and asked if the Lion could give him his extra 10. The Lion agreed.
Then the Lord called upon the Donkey, and he too gave the Donkey 20 years. The Donkey replied, "We don't normally need 20, so I too will only need 10." Then the donkey looked at the man..."I suppose you want my extra 10." Man nodded, and the Donkey agreed.
The moral of the story.. That is why man has 20 years of a normal sex life, another 10 for Monkeying around, another 10 for Lion about it, and 10 more of making a complete ass out of himself
Judge: Are you the defendant?
Defendant: Nope, I'm the guy who stole the chickens.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Gifted.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
I went to the County Fair. They had one of those "Believe it or not?" shows.
They had a man born with a penis and a brain !
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
Two guys were strolling down the street when one guy exclaimed, "how sad -a dead bird."
The other man looked up and said, "where?"
"Why did you make her so different from me?"
"So you would like her."
"But why so soft and curvy?"
"So you would like her."
"But why so dumb?"
"So she would like you."
When I was born...I was BLACK
When I grew up...I was BLACK
When I am sick...I am BLACK
When I go out in the sun...I am BLACK
When I go out in the cold...I am BLACK
When I die...I am BLACK
When you are born...You are PINK
When you grow up...You are WHITE
When you are sick...You are GREEN
When you go out in the sun...You are RED
When you go out in the cold...You are BLUE
When you die...You turn PURPLE
and you have the nerve to call me "COLORED"!
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
