Why It's GREAT To Be A Guy...



* Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
* Your orgasms are real......always.
* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* You can be president.
* You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
* Foreplay is optional.
* You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
* The world is your urinal.
* Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
* You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
* Same work... more pay.
* Wrinkles add character.
* You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
* Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
* If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
* People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
* The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
* Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
* Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
* One mood, all the time.

Ps. This was mailed to me by my sister.



IF IT REALLY WERE A MAN'S WORLD

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the arse and a "Thanks for the sex - now fuck off" would pretty much do it.
2. Birth control would come in beer.
3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29, so it would only occur in leap years.
4. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
5. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
6. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
7. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.
8. Every man would get four, real "Get Out of Gaol Free" cards per year.
9. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
10. When your wife/girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen when the ball goes out of play.
11. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you."
12. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
13. "Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for absence and/or poor time keeping.
14. Lifeguards could remove people from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
15. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
16. Beer would have the same effect as Viagra.
17. "Fancy a root" would be the only chat up line in existence and it would work every time.
18. Everyone would drive at least 70mph and anyone driving under that would be fined.
19. Lunch break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in strippers and $2000 a night hookers for the duration of those breaks.
20. Saying "Lets have a threesome. You, me and your sister" to your wife/girlfriend would get the response, "What a great idea!!"
21. Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.
22. Everyone would have a real Light Sabre and any disagreements would be settled by a fight to the death.
23. Vomiting after 20 beers would actually make you more attractive to the opposite sex.
24. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone

Even this was mailed to me by my sister.