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What to write in an employee evaluation:

A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

A prime candidate for natural deselection.

Bright as Alaska in December.

One-celled organisms outscore him in I.Q. tests.

Donated his brain to science before he was quite finished using it.

Fell out of his family tree.

The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the trains isn't coming.

This man has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

He's so dense,light bends around him.

If brains were taxed, he would get a rebate.

Any dumber and he would have to be watered twice a week.

If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change back.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

One neuron short of a synapse.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he gargled.

Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.