Mar 30Today, I and Marcus passed our little test with Olof.
It was all about Locke, Berkley, Hume and Kant. I'm glad
and sort of reliefed that we passed considering it's quite
a hard and sometimes damn strange subject to deal with.
Philosophy that is.
Though a very interesting subject sometimes when you
get the right moment to talk about it with someone.Me right now is: "10 minuter", "Celsius" and "Beskyddaren".
All 3 great tunes by Kent.
I also listen a lot to Bob Hund at the moment. Thanks to
Johan's sister.Overall is quite ok, as usual I guess. Maybe i'm a little
bit more glad than usual thanks to Tove and my little project
that we are doing at the moment. It's about the Placebo-effect.
It's supposed to be finished and presented at Monday, but
right now I find it hard that we are going to be ready by
Monday. I'll find out later.Friday. Yeah. Week-end. Going out?
Mar 26
You DON'T have to register to be able to post in the forums.
Just write whatever "username" and "password". It doesn't
matter.I and Marcus was out this Sat (24). We visited "Bishops Arms"
and "BeefEater". BA was quite ok but a little bit to crowdy
when we arrived. Long & cool bar though. BE is a small little
place with a smoth and gentle atmosphere. A place worth a visit
some other time for sure.Today was the day of the English C test. Went pretty good I
hope. It was about Thomas More, John Milton and also old stories
like The Beowulf Saga and Cantonbary Tales. Quite interesting
in fact. Going to order TM's Utopia when I got the money it takes.I "hi'ed" to Louise today. She looked wonderful, as always.
The situation wasn't that good, so I wasn't able to procced with
further investigation about her.
Mar 22
For some reason (lazy) I walked to school today. Maybe
it was the scary wind that made me not pick the cycle
this morning.
We (me & some girls in class) had boxing today instead
of the self-defence exercises. Boxing so much funnier
than self-defence, maybe because you can get more aggresssion
out of your body. Not really that I have the need for it
at the very moment, but it still is a very good way of
getting lost for a snip of time.
I "attacked" or rather, I was the main opponent to Anna's
essey today. I think it went trough as I mainly planned.
And I can just agree with a lot of my collegues, the time
went by so fast. Thanks to Anna I know more about the
situation in Korea. She have done an exellent work with lot's
of history and interesting facts. She also made some small
conclusions that it will indeed be hard to get the Northern
and Southern part together in the future. If that's the only
way? Maybe it should be as it is at the moment, but with more
power to the Northen Korea people of course.
Just as I was leaving school, so was Karin. She wanted
company to town for some reason. Maybe she was just in
need of a person to talk with at that time. But why did she
choose me? Because I was also leaving for town? We talked
about future plans and such (as most of us does these times).
She had to fix some textile for the pram. So after we had
arrived at the Domkyrkan station we splitted. I took the
way into a CD shop and looked for some influences. Stood
listening to Delerium, Bob Hund, Fragma, Look Twice, etc for
about 20 minutes or so. I don't have any money right now to
spend on CD's, so I walked out of the shop without anything
bought. Guess I'm going to at least download Delerium's - Karma
when I get broadband in the near future.
I stopped by Pressbutiken and looked for a new ed of the
Official X Files Mag. Still no money so nothing bought. I also
stopped by Lagerhouse and looked at their Lord of the Rings
edition. Still no money. I hate to go around and looking at
all sorts of things, and then you can't buy it because you
don't have any money. Ok, I have money but I have save those
for the planned interrail in Europe this summer with Hamid.
I'm really looking forward to it. It's going to be a good
way of see Europe, by train. Specially for me that just love
train and rails and that kind of stuff.
It had to be at the Berzeliegatan station that felt that
kind of smell in the air. Shit from the cars, parume from (?)
and the spring smell. The sun was shining and I felt that this
day have been a good one. Specially when I was almost home and
I came by the guys that use to play bandy in the street. It
reminded me of how easy it was mostly when I was a child. I
used to go to the kinder-garden where I played all day with my
friends and ate some lovely lunches. At home I continued to
play with those friends that I had at the local-yard. Later
on it was time for dinner and then I went to bed. Everything
seemed so simple at those times. Right?
Mar 21
I fiddled some with ezboard.com's features today.
It gave me a message board. Feel free to post some subject
that can start a good discussion. Or simply nag at my HP.
At the forums.I'm all over heels in love with amazon.co.uk for some reason.
Don't ask me why.Free from school today, lucky me. I have been setting up my
little "attack" at Anna. She has been writing about Korea and
the situation there. So tomorrow I'm going to comment at all sorts
of things on her essey. Hope she will take it cool and don't
be to upset on my thoughts about her work.No sign of Louise.
Mar 16
It was last Saturday (10) that I and Marcus went out
on the town, with the goal of finding as many new places
as possible. Without having to pay entrance fee. And
what a out. We started at "Da Marco", a quite ok pizza
place, though the food wasn't really any good, neither
was the beer. Next up was "Jeffreys", a welcome surprise.
We got an extra beer as we ordered, makes a good welcome.
Got into a talk with a guy from STHLM. We left after about
1 hour, to a new place wich I have forgot the name of.
Anyway, there was a man playing at his guitar there, so
we sat down and listened to him for a while. After a while
we got tired of waiting for him, when he had a break.
So we went on to "Henriksberg" where we had to pay 15:- for
our jackets. We zipped at our Staropramen. It has to be
at "Sejdeln" that I began feeling a little bit dizzy. The
place was dull and boring, and a place that I don't think
we will return to any more time. "The Rover" though, was
a nice surprise with it's "pubby" style. We fetched some
Krusovice's and talked about all things for about ½ hour
or so, I think. In way of pubs, the night ended here. We
tried to go to all kind of places, but somehow the clock
was allready 3 and all places were to close. So we went
home to me and drank some Pernod.At Wednesday (14) it was time to go into seminars for the
first time with the conflict-project. Josefin "attacked"
Cilla's essey about the Tibet/Kina conflict.At Thursday (15) we once again had self-protect exercises
in gym class. 2:nd time. I really suck at those combinations
that you have to learn to do it all as it should be done.Today Friday (16) we learned about Islam in school at the
religon lesson. During the evening I and Johan listened to
some good music and saw a new series at TV. I also checked
a party at Henriks's place. I wasn't really in the mood, so
I and Marcus left the place almost as we arrived there.I haven't had any meeting with Louise at all this week, except
one small sight of her at Monday (12) in the dining-room in
school. Not a very good place to make any movements in.Mar 09
We only had religion today in school wich was good
beacuse I'm just so feed up with school for the moment.
The new subject is Islam. Hoping to understand the
movement in Islam more after Martin has told us about
it.
The lession was over, and I went to some record-stores
to watch for some CD's. But with no money to spend, I
was not able to buy any new music. I'm burning more and
more CD's nowadays, just because it's so damn expensive
to buy new ones, and so cheap to just burn a CD. I'm not
sure, but I think I saw Daniel Lemma two times during my
little walk. I also met Leo and Klas for sure. Leo was
finished with his Filosophy for the season, and are now
into something with radio and stuff, wich I myself are
pondering about maybe get into more.I had been thinking about to get back to school and look
a thing up in a book. I made the decision, and headed
back to school. It was now it was about to happen. I
took the way trough the "allround" room to see if maybe
Louise would be there. And how right I was, she was indeed
there and did something I wasn't able to find out about at
that moment. I now said to myself "Damn, now is the time
to take action, do it now!". I was just about to pass her,
but she didn't meet my face, we didn't see each other, she
didn't see me at that moment. So for some crazy reason I
didn't say anything to her. I just walked by, without saying
a word. The situation couldn't really have been better.
She was all alone there, fiddling with some papers of some
sort, focuzed. Why didn't I do anything? Why didn't I made
a tiny step forward her? Why didn't I say anything?Why? Why? Why?
I just don't get it. It was the perfect situation. Was it me,
not beeing totally sure about what to say? Was it me that
wasn't really ready for "everything" that would come out of
the action I was about to do? Was it me beeing so weak that
I didn't have the power taking action?I continued up to my class-room, with a chaos in my head.
All thought's about everything was twisted about the situation
that had just passed, or rather the situation that had NOT
passed. I found the book, read some without any succes. I was
just all focuzed on Louise.
On my way down I said to myself "do it now or never, say it!".
And I was totally sure that I would now do it, when I knew the
situation. She was there, the atmosphere was the best. But instead
of going to her directly I talked to Lina some, because there
was a perfect spot to see Louise from Lina's place. Lina asked
some questions about something, wich I can't remember. I was
all in a mist, trying to get out of it and then make the move.
Lina asked if I was to go, and sure I was after I had talked to
Louise I thought in my mind. I said "sure, I'm leaving". Dumb
me. Why didn't I say that I was going to stay, and then just go
to Louise and take action?
Anyway. Lina turned of the computer, and we went in the direction
of Louise. I now had a Lina at my side, and Malou had just settled
in the "allround" room where Louise was still doing something with
some papers. I and Lina just passed Louise. We just walked by.
I didn't say a beep.I still don't get it why I didn't say anything at those moments.
Was it simply because I'm not enough interested in Louise? Yesterday
I wrote about Louise at two pages in a letter to Andrea. Isn't that
a sign of interest?Will these moments/situations come again? Will I be able to say
it to her, before I finish school. Sure. There is about 3 months
remaining so there shouldn't be any problem. And they will come
again. The situations when I and Louise are alone or at least
almost alone. Then it will happen. Then I WILL say it.
But only if I have the full motivation off saying it. And I'm not
totally sure if I have the motivation it takes. But maybe the
only way of finding that out is to really SAY it. Then I will see?
Mar 08
The snow is gone, and I'm happy.
I, Marcus, Emelie J and Nora saw Full Metal Jacket in
school because of a history smallie. I liked the movie,
wich was one of the better Vietnam movies that I have
seen. With Good morning, Vietnam beeing too cheesy. And
Apocalypse Now beeing a little hard to undersand
sometimes, but still beeing a very good movie.I think I'm beginning to get addicted to hot chocolate.
Just warm some milk, pour some cocoa powder in and some
sugar. And mix! Serve!Bought a new pair of Levis yesterday. First time I bought
new jeans, since about 4-5 years.Kent's B-sidor has been playing here @ home for almost a
week now, non-stop. I just don't get it why these wasn't
included with the albums. Almost every track is a wonderful
piece of music.
Mar 05
D-day for me. The lending-in of the project made me
really glad and amused. It was finally done, but with
wich results? I'm quite pleased with it, and well see
what the teachers says about it. I can't I have been
really stressed about this project, compared to all my
class-mates. But, they are always stressed, saying like
"hell! I have been up all night, dooing that and that,
I have to sleep, I'm so damn tired". Ooh, so bad for
you then. Crazy ppl.I lended two Texas albums from Niklas some days ago.
They both White on blonde and The Hush turned out to
be two really good albums with that good, moody sound.
I also lended Coldplay's "Parachutes" from Johan.It was last Friday (2) that we said "Hi" to each other.
Me and Louise. And somehow, she had a different smile
in her face that I have never seen before when we have
been "Hi-ing". It was a smile that I took as a smile
that wanted to say, "hey, I'm glad and happy to say
hi to you". But as always after we have been "hi-ing"
I came to think, "hey, I have never really talked to
this girl, hi-ing is the only thing we have done to
each other. Ok, it was like 1 year since we started
to "hi" to each other. And it was after that day that
we cleaned the school together, or rather, we were in
the same group at that moment, that we started to do
the "hi-ing" almost every time we met. We don't say
anything else, just a small "hi".
And it was last Friday, that she gave me that hi again,
but that day, with more feeling that I have never been
able to see before. 2 seconds after that hi-ing session
was finished, I was all excited. I was tripping on clouds
some minutes there. And, I have been thinking for it
all this week-end. She is speciall, or, she looks speciall,
she doesn't look as everyone else. She looks just plain
wonderful, and lovely. It's not that she is a babe saying
"hellu, can ya wait, talking in my celluar at the moment?".
It's more like "hi, wanna drink some tea and read think
about existential questions of life?" That's my type.
I think. I'm confused.
