The brief:
I = GAY = ?lionkid.com <HOME> / index <M(y)(ind) Map>
Yep, you have arrived here, to lionkid.com
Does that say something to you? Or is it just a another domain name?
Well, it have been here for a while, and is here to stay as long as it can last.
So go explore the simplicity of this site. Sign or view the guestbook on your way around.Jan 31
Johan loved There's Only One Jimmy Grimble. And indeed. It was a good movie.
I'm sick today. Headache, tummy blurps, dizzyness and fever. Not often I'm
sick. But I'm not the one complaining.Koen has started to go macho. "Hey Morten, you will get there, you will also
find your girl, bla bla". What a kliché. Hell, I know that man. Just don't
start beeing some kind of doctor or something. It makes me laugh.Finished this swedish book some days ago. "Tredje stenen från solen" turned
out to be a good read. Very simple written and no problems to understand.
Jan 30
When I took the cycle to school today, there were still some fog present.
I figured, it was a long time a go since fog was shown in my town. Hm.
Actually the sun was showing today also. I needed it.Girl. Why are you bending forward with your back to me, showing the washing-
instructions for your underwear? Do you want to test me if it turns me on?
Is it an invitation? Or is it just a simple bend over to fetch the papers
that you have to pick up from the floor? I guess, I guess.Gay. I'm a gay maybe? Long time since I fell in love, for real. So maybe
I'm gay. Maybe I should start looking at boys. Not really sure. I have not
really got turned on by a boy, maybe like 10 years or so, but at the moment
I can't figure out a situation when I have had love feelings for a person
with the same sex. And in school, when a nice girl walks by, I can get
turned on by just that sensual type of walking she has. So I guess I'm not
gay. Who knows? Me? Not at the moment. Come by in 1, 5 or maybe 10 years?Todays movie was Detektor. Loved it. 4.
Listening to "October" a lot lately with U2. What a good album.
Jan 28
Movie bonzana!
Saw Without a trace, Når nettene blir lange and Blackboards yesterday.
Natural Born Killers, pizza & beer at Marcus place.Les Autres Files today.
Jan 23
Thanks to Napster and the person I talked to while downloading some chillout
beats, I have now discovered a new group. Future Sound of London. From those
tunes that I have downloaded they seem to be doing some type of ambient/trance/
chill type of music. I just love to find new bands. Thanks the lord for Napster.I don't really have a band that's my fav band. Maybe I should get one? I think
Suede is quite a catch then.It's always nice to listen to friends that are having a kick-ass time. Koen
was in a sort of trance state when the called me last night. But I can totally
understand why. What a feeling. To be in love has to be one of the best things
in life. It is. There just can't be anything that beats that feeling. Or?
Talked masturbation techniques.Jan 22
A lot of my friends is getting in love lately. Take "J" and "K" for example.
Both seems to have some serious going on. They are probably both going 1 on 1
with their gf right now as I write this. So why not me? When is it my time?
Ok, I think about every now and then. But it's not that I'm really "into-it"
using sniper sight to find a gf. It's not that I'm hungry for it. Eh, ok,
I'm. But as mentioned, I'm not really out in the field and hunting. I just
don't bother right now. But if some creature comes up, why not? I'm always
there to please. Geez.I'm broke. Not really. But I have to save money to the train-hiking-trip in
Europe this summmer. This causes some problems with CD buying. Some serious
problems indeed. I can't buy any new CD´s! What to do? To solove the problem
I have started to listen to all the CD´s I allready own. This turns out to be
a very good solution. I didn't knew that I had so much good music in the shelves.
When I buy new CD´s all the time, I don't really "get time" to listen to the
old ones, only to the new ones. And when I have listen to the new ones, there
is very (too) often, a new one to go through. So no time to think and really
listen and analyze the texts. But now, when broke, I do have time for it. And
it feels damn good.Re-listening to: Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.
This is a very good album. Lot of nice rock and some nice and slow tunes. Good
for stomping around in your room, I do it a lot. Everything Suede. I discovered
Suede at Roskilde for the fist time. And I can't belive I have left this band
out of my collection. Kinda the same as SP but more friendly and melodic.
Everything JMJ. JMJ has to be the king behind the old synth. I just love him.
Specially Revolutions and Waiting for Cousteau. Waiting for Cousteau is an almost
47m long track, with a real moody and slow pulsing rythm. Good for those lazy days.
Jan 20
Yesterday: It was gym day all day, with different things to choose from. I did
some boxing and fencing. The boxing was (as always when I try boxing) really fun
and entertaining. I fenced for the first time in my life will all the equipment.
Helmet, sword and protection. It was awasome, and it really drained the power out
of me. I was so tired after it. Had some serious problems to just hold the sword
straight. If there is a chance to try it out some other time, count me in!I, Marcus, Peter and Nils went to Gyllene Prag and drank some beers.
Later on we went to Velvet, where Marcus holds a club. We got in for free. Wop.
A band played. Don't know their name, instrumental type, quite good. Hard guys.Today: Boring.
In the mix: Talked to Karin on ICQ a few days ago, talking about love. She, and
most others says: "Love is just around the corner, just wait for it". And I surely
agree on that. But hey, I don't want to wait all my life. Karin was in fact the
last person that I have been really in love with. I think it was about 1 year ago
or so.Girls. I want to be a girl for at least one day, and see how it is. Or maybe a
week for better understanding about their acts, do's, etc etc. I want to feel
how it is to be a girl. In what way they think, and what they think about all day.
I'm sure they think as much about sex as boys does. Why wouldn't they?Jan 17
Films. I have bought 14 tickets (films) to this year Film Festival. Ops.
Johan was satisfied with 12 tickets. Lot's of films this year. Wooohaa (!)I jogged for 44 mins with dad today. No problemo.
Yesterday, I talked to a class-mate who was just in her state "having-my-period-
within-a-few-days". At start she was just plain angry and tired of everything.
And that was ok for me. But of course I wanted to find out why. So I asked her
and got no answer. But after more questions I asked "are you in THAT period?",
and then she gave up and confessed. So why not say it at the very start?
Girls? Ladies? Women? Sugars? ... Whatever...Jan 16
hey, where did the teenage period went? I'm 19 now. Only one year left of it.
I just don't get it. I want to be a teenager all my life. And I will. I will
always be a teenager. I love it. Beeing so unstable and searching for everything
out there waiting to be found. I will never grow up. I don't want to. I want to
be a child all my life. Playing around and doing the things that I want to do.
I don't want to have the huge resposibilty about everything, as a grown up has.
I no way. I will stay as I am now. A teenager all my life.Karin was late to class yesterday, always doing that lovely apperance when she
enters the class-room. Knocki´n on the door, and then enter. Why knock?Doing some more progress on the Aral Sea essay. I think I like it.
Jan 13
I jogged for 30 mins.
I and Johan checked out this year film-festival programme together at
Kransapolsky. Well see wich films we are going to see. There is some that
I allready know that I want to see. More about them later, when I have seen
them. Oh, I met Tove from my class, just by chance at the libary while talking
to Johan.So with Klas wich I also met by chance at the tram.
Ate dinner with parents, and some others at a boring restaurant, "Hos Pelle".
I will not go there voluntarily in the future, that's for sure.
Jan 12
I and Sam talked about some nice music. We both turn out to like the same
sort of music. As Jean-Michel Jarre, Enigma, Paul Van Dyk, Kent and Era for
example.It's just really nice to meet a person that says "ah, I love that
artist/group/band as much as you do". They way of talking about the different
tunes and tracks, wich ones that is the best from respective artist, etc etc.Who am I? What is my "goal" of my life? Wich "group" do I belong to? It's
called a identity crisis I guess. And that's one thing I experience right now.
Friends that I don't hang-out with that much anymore at the moment asks me just
that, why I don't join them when they are going out or something like that.
And what is my answer to that? I don't know really. I don't know wich group
I belong to. Is this a search for the group that I should belong to? Do I
have to belong to a group at all? I don't know.I, Marcus and Nils had a lovely "thugs-starter" today at my home. We watched
TV (Pulp Fiction), drank some beers and talked shit. It was a nice way of
starting the night-out. We went to Golden Days and stayed there to around
midnight, when we splitted. Met Johanna from my class exactly when entering
my cab. No time for talking at that time.
Jan 11
Oh happy vibes. Here they come. Let them stay for as long as they want.
Am I'm in love or something? To be honest; I have no f*cking idea.
Is that glanse she gives me a sort of "hey, I want to get more in contact
with you" glance. Or is it a "let's flirt with that boy and see how he reacts"
glance, or maybe it's just a simple "hey, I'm the best here, therefore I can
flirt with everyone I want, and they all love me so much, always" type of
glance. Or maybe it's just a normal "hey" glance. I don't know. And I guess
I will not find out if I don't do anything about the situation right in time.What are all these girls doing? I'm deadly sure they are all walking around
thinking "damn, I want a bf!". But somehow they all seem to be very good at
keeping it inside them. They have their thoughts inside their head, they just
don't let them out in the air. We (the men at school) are quite undermanned,
with about 33 % men, and 67 % women. Wich leaves us (the men) in a nice position,
the opposite of the womens situation. When there is so little men to choose
from, why aren't they begging for love from us men more than they do?
Maybe they are choosy? I guess they are, they are Rudebeckers... that's why.I have finally started to write a bit on my essay. Ok, it's not much. But it's
something to start with, and something to make it easier to go on with it.
The biggest step is always the first words. And now they have been typed.
It's all about the Aral Sea these days, with articles, magazine clips, and
books scattered all over my floor. I have put some pictures and maps of the
situation in the Aral Sea area, just to make me more into it. I want to know
how it is to live down there, in Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan. I want to feel
the salt in my eyes. I want to taste the salt-water that they are drinking
as their "normal" water every day. I want to see it with my own eyes.Penny Arcade has got a facelift. It's now smoother and more stylish.
Tune of the day: Pink Floyd - Take it back
Jan 08
I'm have been locked into the prision again. No commments.
Jan 06
4th: When I turned on my cell I had a lovely voice-mail waiting for me.
In it Marcus said that he had the luck of getting 2 free tickets to "Dom"
at le grande theatré. What a good way to start the day. Of course I was in,
for a evening in the halls of theater. "Dom" surprised me in the way it was
presented. It was all focused around this big wall with different sort of
things hanging from it, depended of wich room it was going to show. The actors
played very well. Fares Fares and Torkel Petersson both from Jalla Jalla!
were two of those.
We finished the day with a Guinness at Cheers.5th: It was the Friday. Or the day of liberance. This was our day that we
were going to make something big of. Or rather, just one of the last days
in freedom, and therefore we celebrated with a night out on the streets.
We saw "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". A damn good movie, or saga. Go
see it, if it's in your local cinema. The tree scenes are fantastic.
As usual (?) we started the "pubbing" at Nevada and then we went on to Cheers.
in hope that the nice black-jack girl was going to be there. But oh no.
I and Marcus drank our deep depressions that she wasn't there over a caraff
of beer. Hopefully Nils (Nisse) was there to cheer us up. But this night
didn't really turned out to be the same as last Friday, don't ask me why.
To little sleep, boredom or maybe just beeing not in the party mood.
There can be all possible reasons. I sent a SMS to Johan, indicating that
we now were stationed at Cheers.6th(today): I was later on, during my waking-up-session, that he had been at
Ferdinand all night. It better be a good place then? But before this I had a
lovely dream. It was about me and a girl. We were a couple. And I think we loved
each other quite a lot. We made love, kissed and just had just plain cosy.
Damn, I'm missing that feeling. It's time to go hunt. Or is it? I just don't
want to take the first one in sight. As said before it was a long time since
I last was in love. Of course I get in love all day, in the streets when seeing
nice girls. But do I know these? No. So it's maybe kinda stupid to go around
and get in love with a girl that I don't even know, you may say. But isn't
that the first step. Of course it is. I just can't wait for a girl to come up
and say "Hi, I want to know you better", because those aren't the times. The
old rule sais that it's the damn f*cking boy that is going to take the first
step forward. Why? Why not the girl? It's insane. But love isn't.
Love is awsome."Reality: That world is a hoax, an elaborate deception spun by
all-powerful machines of artificial intelligence that control us. Whoa"Taken from here. Just love that one.
Jan 03
I met another Marcus today, a guy from Rudebecks that graduated last year.
He asked me about the conflict-essay, how much I have worked on it and so on.
He also gave me some tips. For example. "Start to write now!" I guess I wasn't
shocked. I really have to start with this shit now. It's now or never.Saw Snatch today with Johan and Leo.
Jan 02
This year I "celebrated" New Years eve in a cottage in the bush. It was Gerda
who was the hostess of the party, with mostly of the peeps I have never meet
before. Peeps that were very nice to talk with and have different discussions
with. Maybe one of the most remarkable things were that there wasn't any drinking
of any sort at the party. Not even a bottle of champagne was opened. Most of the
people were involved with the church, and I think that was one of the reasons
why they weren't drinking alcohol. I had a great time anyway. Quite different
from last new years eve when I got too drunk.I think it was about a week or so when I tried a new way of quitting Q3. I actually
tried the most simple way all categories, just type /quit in the console. And what a
luck. I have had some serious problems with Q3 crashing when quitting the way by using
the menus. The easiest way is always the best way.
