Gamla goda felmeddelanden:


Virus detected! P)our chicken soup on motherboard?

A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.

A)bort, R)etry, P)ee in drive door

Computer possessed? Try DEVICE=C:\EXOR.SYS

SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory.


När gav du din fru ett virus senast?

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.


En-linjare:

A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.

My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.

A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1

Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers. - Leonard Brandwein

Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors.

Every program in development at MIT expands until it can read mail.

Long computations that yield zero are probably all for naught.

"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?

AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous.

You have junk mail.

A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperless bathroom.

The only thing good about "standards" in computer science is that there are so many to choose from.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce today would cost $100, get a million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier.

Spelling checkers at maximum! Fire!

Finish your mail packet! Children are offline in India.

Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once...

Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.

ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.

The best way to accelerate a Mac is at 9.8 m / sec^2

"Today's subliminal thought is:"

'Calm down -- it's only ones and zeros.'

The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'. -Weinberg, p.152

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

WOMAN.ZIP: Great Shareware, but be careful of viruses...