Why did cave men drag their women around by the hair? Because if you drag them around by the feet they fill up with dirt. How can you tell a macho women? She rolls her own tampons.
How does a woman know that she is overweight? She's lying at the beach and people from Greenpeace try to push her back into the sea. Why is a pussy like a warm toilet seat? They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
What do you call that useless piece of skin around a pussy?A woman. What's love? The delusion that one woman is different from another.
What do you do when the dishwasher won't work? Kick her. Why are cyclones/tornadoes usually named after women? Because what starts off as a small blow ends up taking half your house.
Why is a fat woman like a moped? They're both fun to ride, but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on either. What's the best thing about a blowjob? Ten minutes of silence.
What's the best definition of a woman? A life support system for a pussy. What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her legs.
What's the smartest thing ever to come out of a woman's mouth? Albert Einstein's dick. What's the only bad thing about the 69 position ? The view.
How do you know God meant for men to eat pussy? Why else would he make it look like a taco? What's the most active muscle in a woman? The penis.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind. Why do men die before their wives? They want to.