Three guys were on a safari in Africa and they stumbled
upon a tribe. The chief took them captive and told them
they have two choices, poomba or death.

The first man replied poomba and the entire tribe fucked
him up the ass and sent him on his way. The second man
thought for a minute and then replied poomba. The entire
tribe then fucked him up the ass and sent him on his way.
The third man said fuck that, I'm not queer I'll choose death.

The chief then replied you chose death...by poomba

Jeb's mountain-born wife decided she wanted to do 
something special to please her man when he came 
home from his long hunting trip with Zeb. She 
decided to buy a pair of crotchless panties.

That night, when he got home, Jeb walked into the 
bedroom to find his wife sprawled on the couch, 
spread-eagle. "Hi, Honey," she purred with sex in 
her voice. "Y'all want some of this?"

"God, no!" roared Jeb. "Look at what it done to 
your undies!" 

MOTHERHOOD

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter 
Bad: She keeps interrupting 
Ugly: With corrections 

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids 
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills 
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them 

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room 
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. 
Ugly: You're in them 

Good: Your son's finally maturing 
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door 
Ugly: So are you 


How do you teach a blonde math?
Subtract her clothes, divide her legs 
and square root her!


Q. What's the difference between your 
paycheck and your cock?

A. You don't have to beg your wife to 
blow your paycheck! 

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. This being a big
event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner,
she would like to go about and have sex for the 
first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, because he has never had
sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to 
get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for 
about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is
to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the
pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like 
to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be
very busy, it being his first time and all. 

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents' house
and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited
for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes 
inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's 
parents are seated.

The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, 
with his head down. Two minutes pass and the boy
is still deep in prayer. Finally, after three minutes with
his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to
her boyfriend, " I had no idea you were so religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your 
father was a pharmacist!

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on 
multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea 
to ask a few of the children examples of words with more 
than one syllable.
"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?"
"After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday."
"Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day"
"Does anyone know another word."
"I do! I do!" replied Johnny.
Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks 
Mike instead.
"OK Mike, what is your word."
"Saturday." says Mike.
"Great, that has three syllables..."
Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four 
syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"
Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large 
the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. Johnny what is your 
four syllable word?"
Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion."
Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, 
"Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."
"No Ma'am, your thinking of 'blowjob', and that's only two syllables."