DIARY |
[990414] This became a long one... [09:10am] Jeez, I have much going on in my head right now... I'm one messed up mate... Well I'm back from Gotland now, I spent ten days there with my friend Adde having a great time. It was really fun. Nice to get away from the everyday-reality for a while... Met some nice people too. :-) But now life´s a bitch. Just broke up with my girlfriend (2 year relationship). Tough. Don't know where to go right now, don't know where to live.... thanks to Adde for letting me stay at his place for a couple of days... Don't know what to do when he moves back to Gotland this summer. I have applied for a job in Sthlm, I hope I get it.... I could use a job right now... Unemployment sucks.... Also applied for an education down in Blekinge, but that doesn't begin until August 30. A webdesign education. If I doesn't get something til the summer I'm thinking of going to London to try to get a job there.Would be nice. Shit... I have so much to write about, so many people to write about, but I don't think that it would be appriciated by them if I wrote it here, where everybody can read it... You know who you are.... Trollunge. well peace, love 'n' understanding to u all........................................ [12.26 pm] Well, now I have updated my home page... Lots of new pictures and of course this diary is published now... Sitting here in a boring room at the highschool "Frösan" where I'm a trainee. Haven't done much work today, got so much other things on my mind right now... I'm waiting for some mails that never seems to arrive... Got to go check my hotmail now, I'll be right back....... Damn... No mail... Btw, the proxyserver that this school uses suck. This is enough for now. I'll write some more later. [1.40 pm] I'm so bored... Installing servicepack 4 on a workstation... How fun is that.... :-) Well at least I get some time to think and write some stuff here... Hey, if I write this long everyday, I will need to organize my diary somehow, can't have it all on one page. Must probably create a new page everyday... But that doesn't matter. Not that I think I will write this much every day, I just need to today. Got so much to think about. Job, Love, Money (the non-existing ones), future and so on. If I would get the job in Stckholm, I don't really know where to live. Not so easy to find an apartment there... Well, everything usually works out in the end. I want to go home and upload this newly written stuff now. And eat something, I'm starving. It's one and a half hour until I quit for today. What shall I do? I suppose I have some other applications that I must install. Two teachers are discussing politics in the room beside mine... Very tempted to go there and tell them what I think, but I'm too tired today. When I went to upper secondary school, I had a teacher who were an outspoken communist. It was my pleasure to crush him verbaly. He could never win a discussion, even when he really tried. He claimed to have all sorts of evidence that he were right, but in three years I never saw any... :-) Always fun to discuss politics... I have never yet "lost" in a debate. Now it's only an hour til I quit. [2.54 pm] Hmmm. I finally gave up and went home (well not home, but to Adde). Now I'm writing here a bit while he is cleaning up the room and building a computer. I'm listening to Thomas Ledin on the stereo... Damn he is gooooooood! I love his songs, they hit me straight in the soul.... "En del av mitt hjärta", "Hon gör allt för att göra mig lycklig" and "Nu tystnar musiken" is so good... My soul shivers with pleasure. Almost anyway... :-) I'm thinking of a special person right now...You know who you are. It's so hard to live sometimes. When Adde has finished the computer perhaps we'll play some network game, like Red Alert. A classic... I'll kick his little ass ;-) Nice way to escape reality for a couple of hours. "Hon är flickan som gör allt för att göra mig lycklig, flickan som bara vill mig väl...." I would like to meet that girl :) Sorry english speaking friends, but everything can't be translated.... Swedish is such a beautiful language. "Genom ett regnigt Europa rullar vi fram, genom ett regnigt Europa du och jag. Genom ett regingt Europa talar vi om livet, och du kysser mig ibland." Beautiful..... I'm thinking of when we were driving all over Gotland with Ledin playing on the stereo. We sang like crazy, driving to fast and to far, the sun were shining and everything felt very good for a while... Shit. I already miss it, even though it was only a few days ago. Now it's only raining. I suppose one can't feel good all the time. Unfortenately. Adde and I have decided that we will own two Porsche 911's by the summer 2001 and cruise around Europe together. Black ones. Imagine that... "Snart tystnar musiken. Vi kan gå långsamt genom stan. Vi kan stanna till ibland, vi kan drunkna i varann. Om sanningen ska fram, jag vill att vi ska älska inatt. Det finns tillfällen i livet som aldrig kommer igen. Man känner det på sig, av nån anledning vet man att det är så...." I feel like our time spent on Gotland is one of those times that never will return in life... I wish that it isn't so. You know that song, "Forever young" form the eighties... Another of those songs who makes me shiver... "Let us die young, let us live for ever" |