The Swedish Way

You know you've been in Sweden too long, when...

1.     You associate pea soup with Thursday.
2.     The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is look for the queue number machine.
3.     You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
4.     A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound "ahh".
5.     You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to Systembolaget.
6.     You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of "cheap" spirits at Systembolaget.
7.     Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you begin to "eat medicine" and "hire videos".
8.     You think Leif "Loket" Olsson is entertaining.
9.     You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be              sacrificed to garbage.
10.     It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
11.     Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
12.     When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
        a. he is drunk;
        b. he is insane;
        c. he is American;
        d. he is all of the above.
13.     You stay home on Saturday night to watch Bingolotto.
14.     Silence is fun.
15.     It seems sensible that the age limit at Stockholm night clubs is 23 or 25.
16.     The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:
        a. duty free vodka
        b. duty free beer
        c. to party
17.     The only reason for getting off the boat in Helsinki is to eat pizza.
18.     It no longer seems excessive to spend $200 on alcohol in a single night.
19.     The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right.
20.     You care who wins "Expedition: Robinson".
21.     Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
22.     You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.
23.     You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."
24.     You are no longer scared of Volvos and Volvo drivers.
25.     You have your own innebandy club.
26.     You enjoy the taste of surströmming.
27.     You find yourself debating the politics of Carl Bildt.
28.     You use "mmmm" as conversation filler.
29.     An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius is mild.
30.     When someone asks for "three cheers", you say "hoorah, hoorah, hoorah".
31.     You wear sandals with socks.
32.     You eat jam with savoury dishes.
33.     You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.
34.     You think riding a racing bike in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do.

Extra added ones

1.     You feel awkward eating a sandwich without a fork and knife.
2.     A "mile" sounds like a long way!
3.     You start keeping a second or third reserve pair of shoes at work.
4.     You can pay $3 for bottled water without flinching.
5.     Fish eggs on crispbread are as appealing to the tastebuds as a slice of pizza.
6.     You visit London and call the Underground the "tunnelbana".
7.     You carry more bottles and cans to the grocery store than you bring back.
8.     Tanning booth usage becomes tempting.
9.     You know the real words to "Hell and Gore".
10.     Sailors remind you of graduation.