Shit happens
 | Taoism: Shit happens |
| Confucionism: Confucius says: "Shit happens" |
| Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit |
| Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? |
| Hinduism: This shit has happened before |
| Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah |
| Protestantism:Let the shit happen to someone else |
| Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it |
| Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us? |
| Sufism: The wise man never notices shit happening |
| Christian Science: If shit happens, pretend it doesn't really exist |
| Solipsism: Shit happens because I wish it |
| Mysticism:Just experience shit happening |
| Asceticism: If shit happens, renounce it |
| Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens |
| Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but won't tell you |
| Atheism: Shit just happens and that's all there is to it |
| Cartesianism: Shit happens to me, therefore I exist |
| Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere |
| Stoicism: I don't care if shit happens |
| Epicureanism: Let's party while shit doesn't happen |
| Cynicism: Of course shit happens |
| Occultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence |
| Terrorism: Shit will happen unless you do as I say |
| Pollyanism: It's sonice that shit happens! |
| Puritanism: Shit can happen all day as long as you don't call it that |
| Behaviorism: You are conditioned to having shit happen |
| Freudianism: If shit happens, it's your mother's fault |
| Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes |
| Surrealism: Purple shit happens near melting clocks |
| Cubism: If shit happens, you won't recognize it |
| Cultural relativism: Shit happens everywhere differently |
| Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it |
| Pessimism: If shit happens, there won't be enough for everybody |
| Tabloid Sensationalism: Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone |
| Biblical Creationism: Shit happens because God created it |
| Secular Humanism: Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit |
| Scientific Reductionism: If shit happens, find out what kind exactly |
| Scientific Obscurantism: Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases |
| Bureaucracy: I don't careif shit happens as long as you fill out the forms |
| Feminism: Women demand to have shit happen |
| Ecology: If organic shit happens, it's OK |
| Capitalism: Let's profit from shit happening |
| Socialism: If shit happens, let's distribute it equally |
| Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit |
| Conservatism: They don't make even shit happen like they used to |
| Liberalism: Shit shouldn't happen tomorrow |
| Classical Physics: Shit does not 'happen', it just moves around |
| Quantum Physics #1: Shit happens but you can't say both where and when |
| Quantum Physics #2: Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons |
| Holistic Physics: If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once |
| Microcomputing: If shit happens, we'll fix it in the next version |
| Applied Mathematics: The probabity of shit happening approaches unity |
| Engineering: When shit happens, paint over |
| Medicine: If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning |
| Economics: Shit happens because there's a geat demand for it |
| Politics: If shit happens, make a deal with it |
| Diplomacy: Let's pretend shit doesn't happen |