NEW VIRUSES
 Lewinsky virus.......................Sucks all the memory out of your
 computer, then emails everyone on your distribution list about it.

 Ronald Reagan virus..........Saves your data, but forgets where it is
 stored.

 Mike Tyson virus....................Quits after one byte.

 Oprah Winfrey virus................Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks
 to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

 Lorena Bobbit virus.................Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch
 Floppy.

 Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus......... Searches your hard drive for old files
 and deletes them.

 Ellen Degeneres virus..............Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

 Titanic virus.............................Makes your whole computer go
 down.

 Disney virus............................Everything in the computer goes
 Goofy.

 Prozac virus............................Screws up your RAM but your
 processor doesn't care.

 Sharon Stone virus...................Makes a huge initial impact, then you
 forget it's there.

 Tim Allen virus.........................Appears helpful, only to destroy
 your hard drive upon contact.

 Woody Allen virus....................Bypasses the motherboard and turns on
 a daughter card.

 Saddam Hussein virus..............Won't let you into any of your programs.

 Tonya Harding virus..................Turns your .BAT files into lethal
 weapons.

 George Michaels virus...............Runs its course, occasionally
 releasing excess data buildup.

 X-files virus...............................All your Icons start shape
 shifting.

 Spice Girl virus.........................Has no real function, but  makes
 a pretty desktop.

 AT&T virus...............................Every 3 minutes it tells you what
 great service you are getting.

 Arnold Schwarzenegger virus.....Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
 back...