>> How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it
> take to 
> do
>> the dishes?
 >> Both of them.


>> Why did the man cross the road? 
>> He heard the chicken was a slut. 


>> Why don't women blink during foreplay? 
>> They don't have time.


>> Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? 
>> They don't stop and ask for directions.


>> What do men and sperm have in common?
>> They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human
 being. 


>> How does a man show that he is planning for the future? 
>> He buys two cases of beer.


>> What is the difference between men and government bonds? 
>> The bonds mature.


>> Why are blonde jokes so short?
>> So men can remember them.


>> How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? 
>> We don't know; it has never happened.


>> Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and
> good > 
>>   looking?
>> They all already have boyfriends. 


>> What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every
> night? 
>> A widow.


>> When do you care for a man's company? 
>> When he owns it.


>> What are a woman's four favorite animals?
>> A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the
> bedroom, 
>>   and an ass to pay for it all.


>> Why are married women heavier than single women?
>> Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. 
>> Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. 


>> How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? 
>> His hand caught fire.


>> How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
>> Put the remote control between his toes 


>> What did God say after creating man?
>> I must be able to do better than that. 


>> What did God say after creating Eve? 
>> "Practice makes perfect."


>> How are men and parking spots alike?
>> Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or 
>>   extremely small.


>> What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in
> common? 
>> They're married.


>> Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
>> God says: "So you would love her."  "But God," the man says, "why
> did 
>>   you make her so dumb?"  God says: "So she would love you."


>> Why did Moses wander the desert for 40 years? 
>> He wouldn't ask for directions.