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Take a sip of your drink when:
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- Homer says D'oh!
(take three sips if it is then used in a context or as part of a word
(i.e. D'oh! A deer! A female deer.))
- Homer says "Woo, hoo!"
- Homer laughs
- Homer says "Mmmmmm...{food item}"
- Barney belches
- Marge growls
- Maggie falls
- Anyone on screen is seen drinking an alcoholic beverage (per scene!)
- You see the inside of Moe's
(if all the characters are drinking you should too)
- Any of the school bullies beat up on someone
- Bart says Ay Caramba!
- Mr. Burns says Excellent
- Any allusion to a movie/tv show / book / etc. is made
(take two drinks if you cannot name the movie/tv show / book / etc.)
- Ned Flanders says Hi-de-li-ho (or any other "Flanderized" word)
- Nelson Muntz says "Ha ha!"
- Homer strangles Bart
- Homer drools and makes that gargling sound
- Homer yells at either Bart (three sips if he yells at Lisa)
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Take two sips of your drink when:
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- Bart makes a prank phone call
- Any Biblical references/stab at religion
- Patty and Selma light up/or are seen smoking (once per scene)
- Nelson laughs
- Homer strangles Bart
- Any real life celebrity is impersonated
- Ralph Wiggum demonstrates what a loser he is
- Principal Skinner mentions his mother
- A Radioactive Man comic book is shown(four sips if more than just the cover is shown)
- You see Snake committing a crime
- You see any character's butt
- Groundskeeper Willie insults someone in his particular way
(i.e. you cheese eating surrender monkey)
- Any other actual TV show is mentioned (three drinks if it is insulted or put down)
- Krusty the Klown does something totally inappropriate for children on his show
- Patty and/or Selma insult Homer
- Shelbyville is mentioned
- A Springfield sports team is mentioned (three sips if it wins/ won a game)
- Smithers fantasizes about Mr. Burns, or any other act that hints at his homosexuality.
- Any Krusty the Klown product, theme park, telethon, etc. is mentioned
- Lisa uses a word you don't understand, or recites a fact you didn't know, etc.
- Reverend Lovejoy does something unbecoming of a Reverend
- Chief Wiggum is completely negligent of his duty
- Homer drinks more than 2 beers in one scene
- Anyone says the word Squishy (four sips if it's Apu)
- Dr Hibbert jokes about his patient, or any other act of poor bedside manner
- Homer does or says something that makes him a bad / negligent parent
- Troy McLure tells us where we might remember him from
- Lionel Hutz demonstrates how stupid he is
- Homer's mind and his mouth have a conversation / argument
(three sips if any other character does it)
- Dr. Nick Riviera says Hey Everybody
- Homer is asleep on the job
- Bart gets caught for misbehaving at school
- Homer reminisces about his past
(four sips if he is missing a historic event, sings a commercial, etc.)
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Take three sips of your drink when:
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- Grandpa falls asleep
- Cross dressing - anyone
- Itchy & Scratchy cartoon begins (you'll want a buzz, won't you?)
- Drug reference/Any character "trips" out
- Smithers uses a homosexual innunendo
- Moe pulls a weapon
- Jebidayah Springfield's name is mentioned
- Homer eats anything that is not a food product
- Sideshow Mel says anything
- Any reference to Canada is made (four sips if it's false)
- Any reference to Krusty's Jewish heritage is made
- The Fox television network is insulted in any way
- Any character praises television
- A Mexican Bee sitcom comes on the television
- Any character is attacked by an animal
- Mrs. Krabapple complains about her life in any way
- The Springfield Shopper is shown
- Smithers calls Homer a something from Sector 7-G (i.e. carbon blob)
- Dr. Nick displays gross ineptitude
- Grampa has a heart attack, goes into a coma,
or any other medical type emergency then instantly recovers
- Dr. Frink says "Bw'hay"
- Any member of the Simpsons' family is seen not wearing their usual attire
(note: scenes showing them in their pajamas do not count)
- A McBain movie is shown
- Kent Brockman says something no real news reporter would ever say on the air
- Anything bad happens to Marge's hair
- Patty or Selma mention McGyver
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Take four sips of your drink when:
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- Maggie demonstrates outstanding intelligence
- Grampa is seen in drag
- Chief Wiggum starts a sentence with "that's nice..." and ends it with "...boys"
(i.e. that some nice flutin' boy)
- Any reference to a bad band is made
(this is objective, of course, but a good example would be NOFX)
- The Androids Dungeon and Baseball Card Shop is shown
- Any non explosive object explodes
- Bart talks like either a nineteenth century cockney bootblack,
an 1840's prospector, Gus the lovable Chimney Sweep, etc.
- Mayor "Diamond Joe" Quimby says "Ich bein ein..."
- Bart actually does his homework
- Homer actually says something surprisingly intelligent or insightful
- Bart uses a "dirty" word in its proper context
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Specials:
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- Any President of the United States is shown [five sips]
- A McGarnigle show comes on [five sips]
- Maggie actually says something [seven sips]
- The Aliens (Kodos, Kang or Siroc the Preparer) speak [ten sips]
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